Love yourself – Put FOCUS back on YOU

Your relationship with yourself defines your equation with other.

Love Yourself

Love Yourself

One of the most important relationships of all is the one you share with yourself.Unfortunately,most of us allow our perception of our own strengths and capabilities to be determined by those around us family,friends and colleagues.Their opinion is what we begin to believe as the truth despite the fact that we know exactly what heights we are capable of touching.And,as most of you in this kind of a situation will agree,it can often leave one with a sense of worthlessness as no matter what you do,you just never seem to meet anyone’s expectations.

Love yourself

Most people opine that if you love yourself,you are a vain person.This,however,is far from the truth.In reality,its more important for a person to love themselves,even before loving someone else.Its only when one is comfortable with themselves and who they are that you will be able to accept the other person for who they are and love them wholly,not because they conform to your needs or wants.

The importance of loving yourself is very significant because it helps one survive.When you love yourself,you take pride in yourself as an individual and attempt to do your best in your chosen field of endeavor.Positive self love can be highly motivating and encourage an individual to achieve what they believe they can/should.Self love also propagates love towards others because only when you are happy with yourself will you do things,not only for you but for others too.Loving others is but an extension of loving yourself.A mother who is not happy being a mother can never love her baby.Similarly,if you don’t love yourself and you don’t consider yourself worthy of love from others,you will be unable to spread your love to others.If we keep living by others opinions and expectations,we are doing great injustice to ourselves.Each human was designed to be an individual and though society tries its utmost to tame our impulses,our individuality shines in some way or the other.Hence,those who accept their individuality and uniqueness are on a path of happiness while those who suppress it remain unhappy and miserable because they don’t see a meaning to their lives.However,if loving oneself is carried to the extreme of narcissistic love,where it is only love yourself and give a damn about others,then the process of self harm starts.This leads to alienation and separation from others which leads to isolation and unhappiness.

Believe in yourself

Though everyone may have their own opinion,remember that you and only you are the true judge of your capabilities.Each of us know our s t re t ch i n g point and our breaking point,and most often its much more that others will tell you.So no matter what happens,and how many times you fail,its only your belief in yourself that will give you the strength to get up,move on and cross that finishing line.

Ones motivation to achieve big things come mainly from believing in yourself and in your capability to do so.Apart from that,you also need to believe in your talents,values and the purpose of your task.Sometimes,the things people say may cause you to doubt yourself.But instead of losing faith and getting disheartened,its better to look at the comments as constructive criticism.It is very important to nurture the ability to convert bad feedback into constructive criticism.At times,the quick pace at which your peers may achieve success can also be a de-motivator.However,it is important to remember that each person works at their own pace and that,just because you are slower,doesn’t mean what you’re doing is less good or less powerful that the other person.

Forgive yourself

To err is human,to forgive divine.Remember,this adage is as applicable to yourself as it is to the other people around you.Its very easy to chastise yourself for mistakes made but you are just as human and prone to mistakes are your friends and close ones.Hence,just like you’d forgive them for their mistakes,you need to forgive yourself too.More than anything else,it will give you that much needed kick-start.

Many people misconstrue that forgiveness would make one more callous and immoral.Quite the contrary! Guilt serves zilch and the more guilty one feels the more self-hating and that only wastes energy and does nothing to improve what needs to be improved.We are human,and hence,mistake making and fallible.So its only natural and human to err.The less forgiving you are of yourself the more you try and be superhuman a condition which is impossible and unfulfillable.Forgiving oneself doesn’t mean shedding off responsibility for your actions,it only means,giving yourself the right to be wrong,giving yourself the chance to be imperfect! When you forgive yourself,you give yourself a chance to correct,evolve and grow as a person.When you forgive others you do yourself a favor and are not enveloped by feelings of hatred and revenge.To err is human and not forgiving isn’t divine,it simply leaves you saner and more realistic!

Love Yourself

Love Yourself

Take charge of your life

Everyone constantly faces challenges – at home with our spouse, children or other family members; at work with your peers and bosses. Sometimes life itself seems a challenge because it throws up so many relationship-based and situational challenges.

But the biggest challenge of them all is one’s mind. Often, it is possible to control everything else but one’s mind. Being master of the mind is no less than mastery of the world. Chapter 6 of Bhagavad Gita says, “Our mind is our best friend and our worst enemy. If we know how to manage our mind, we can manage our time, our relationships, our life, everything.”

This is where spirituality comes in. Spirituality is not a way to look at certain things, it is a certain way to look at all things. It is the path to a mentally decluttered value-based life. It is also about managing relationships in different sorts of challenging situations. Spirituality teaches us control of our thoughts, emotions and desires. It is actually the science of managing one’s mind.

The result: A sense of well being, tranquility and inner peace. It also creates the feeling that one is on top of the situation and in control of it, rather than the other way round. Spirituality is not bound by the confines of religion because it’s not about chanting prayers, undertaking pilgrimages or charitable work. It’s about much more than that. Contrary to what we all believe, spirituality is not just for mystics or old people. It is meant for everyone.

Life is beautiful but only if you really want it to be that way. This needs you to make a conscious decision to achieve your full potential and give your life greater meaning. Many of us are not aware of our potential. One must never let life slide by. Inspiration, curiosity, love, knowledge and enthusiasm give life its true meaning. We are said to be ‘living’ life only when we experience happiness, lvoe and fearlessness, not stress, anxiety, boredom and a sense of aimlessness.

The truth is we need sincerely to try to enjoy every step of this journey called life. One is always waiting for something to happen to be happy. Alternatively, we wait to complete the job at hand and then enjoy the fruits of it. But that means we are always postponing happiness. Happiness is in the journey not the destination.

It is important to do things we value because only then can we give 100% of ourselves ot it. Chapter 3 of Bhagavad Gita explains that this si about the concept of swadharma, or finding one’s true calling and following it sincerely. Once we value what we do, we start feeling good about ourselves. The self-esteem goes up. It also gives a sense of purpose and meaning to our lives.

Once we start to have some controls over our actions and become more positive in our outlook, we may also find the law of attraction coming into play. Inexplicable events occur and we find things falling into place for us. they seem to be coincidence but that’s the law of attraction working for you. You attract what you think. We can align our inner world with the strong belief that whatever we wish for will happen. When you think positive, you get positive results. Let the power of positive affirmation take over. It was well said that what you visualize it that you realize.

The capacity to sacrifice is something we must all reckon with. It is sacrifice that enables one to appreciate the real worth of what one does because it takes a great deal of effort, introspection and prioritization to give away something. Sacrifice always brings joy and growth. An important aspect of sacrifice is that it requires you to go beyond your comfort zone, which creates a physical, emotional and intellectual blanket around us and prevents us thinking new thoughts.

We become prisoners of our self created comfort zones. We don’t open up to new people and become averse to criticism. We cling to the emotional crutches we have created.

At the intellectual level also we become stubborn. “It’s either my way or no way” is the constantly nagging feeling.

On the other hand, when we sacrifice something, seek something else and transcend our comfort zone, we are no longer scared of change and grow as individuals.

In real terms, most of us are averse to change and resist it. We fail to realize that everything is changing anyway, whatever comes has to go and it is pointless to cling to it. That’s when one can start to come to terms with life’s ultimate truth, i.e. that change is the only constant.

The Bhagvad Gita says, “When we live in this world, we experience the pairs of opposites – hot and cold, joy and sorrow, success and failure. They come and they go. And even while they are here, they are temporary.

Most of times, it is resistance to a changing situation, rather than the situation itself that creates conflict. Instead, one should face a situation as it is and refrain from coloring it with biases. Lapsing into “why me” or “why did it have to happen” makes for mental turmoil.

Through acceptance of situation as it is, one automatically starts focusing on finding a solution rather than on the problem itself, And sure enough, one does come up with a sensible solution.

As Harivansh Rai Bachan said, “Apne man ka ho to achha. Na ho to aur bhi achaa. (If we get what we want, it’s good. If we don’t get it, it’s even better).”