Setting goals simply means deciding targets for yourself. A goal can be simple and is an end towards which efforts are directed. Targets must be realistic and obtainable and should not be too high or low. They should be moderately high, so that it takes efforts to reach them.

In simple words, before starting anything, you must being with the end in mind – developing a clear picture of where you want to go in life and drawing up a map to get there.

Often we set goals when we are in mood, but later realise that we do not have the strength to achieve them. This is because we don’t count the cost associated with it. Here’s a simple example: Every year, you plan to get better marks in the coming exams. But before setting the goal, you need to consider what this will entail. Perhaps you will have to spend more time studying, waking up early and staying up late, watching less TV etc.

Once you’ve counted the costs, you may consider the benefits: What could good marks bring to you? A feeling of accomplishment? Entry into a good college? High self esteem? Praise?

Now ask yourself, “Am I willing to make the sacrifice?” if not, then don’t do it. Don’t make commitments you know you will break. A better way is to make the goal bite-sized. Instead of setting a goal for getting better marks in all subjects, you might want to get good marks in just two. In next semester, focus on the other two subjects.

Here is another exercise: On a sheet of paper, write down how much you would like to score in your exams. Then think about the percentage you got in your last exam, and compare that to how much you would like to score in you coming exams as well as the one after that and so on, till the final goal is reached. Now look at the your first sub goal and next to it, make two columns: In the first column, note the cost you have to bear to reach that goal. Then think about the potential benefits you may enjoy on reaching that goal. Now, truthfully answer the question, “Do I want to achieve this goal?” Write it down!

The difference between a goal and a dream is the written word. A goal not written is only a wish. A written goal carries ten times the power. We all want to achieve certain things in life and even work hard for it. But once you actually write it down in black and white, you know exactly what to do and how. Writing forces you to be specific.

Once we are fully committed to doing a task or reaching a goal, our power to reach it increases. It seems to dig up goldmines of willpower, skill and reactivity, which we didn’t even know we possessed. Of course this commitment must come with within and shouldn’t be imposed by others.

One of the most important steps to achieving your goals in life is to develop a strong sense of self confidence. This does not however involve becoming loud or arrogant. On the contrary, people with genuine self confidence are usually calm and self assured and do not need to ‘big note’ themselves.

1. Visualise Yourself As The Person You Want To Be

Each morning spend a few minutes visualising yourself as the person you want to be. Think about the way you dress, the way you carry yourself and the way you interact with other people. Seeing yourself as the person you want to become is the first step towards building self confidence.

2. Self Confidence Statement

After visualising yourself as the person you want to be, read the following statement out loud:

“I know I have the ability to achieve my major goal in life. Therefore today,
I demand of myself persistent and continuous action towards achieving my goal”

Reading this statement out loud is a great way to start your day in a confident state of mind.

3. Dress Well

One of the most effective ways to instantly improve your level of self confidence is to dress well and to make the decision to always be well groomed. This does not mean you have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe. Instead, just focus on gradually building up a small collection of good quality clothes. Also remember that simple accessories such as a tie clip or necklace can make a big difference to the way you look and feel.

4. Positive Posture

Another powerful way to build your sense of self confidence is to stand up straight and lose the slouch that many of us have acquired over the years. While you may be able to make a change to your posture by simply becoming aware of it, the best way to make a long lasting change to your posture is to practice yoga or pilates.

5. Move With Purpose

A simple but effective tip for increasing your levels of self confidence is to always move with a sense of purpose. In his book ‘The Magic of Thinking Big’, David Schwartz recommends walking 25% faster than normal. Having a spring in your step lets people know that you have important things to do and actually makes you feel more confident as you go about your daily business.

6. Become A Participant

Have you ever noticed that in most meetings or groups, people immediately head towards the back of the room so that they can remain as inconspicuous as possible? A great way to increase your visibility and sense of self confidence is to make the decision to always sit towards the front of the room and be a participant. When you have something to say – don’t be afraid to say it.

7. Connect With Confidence

Another way to quickly improve your self confidence is to practice making a strong first impression. When you meet someone face-to-face, look them directly in the eye, smile broadly, shake hands firmly and say, “Hi Jim, nice to meet you”.

Similarly, you can sound more confident on the phone by answering, “Good morning Carol Jones speaking” instead of simply saying “Hello”

8. Build Your Success File

Occasionally your self confidence will take a hit when something doesn’t work out the way you hoped. One of the best ways to repair your self confidence in this situation is to keep a folder outlining your past achievements and successes. You should also include any positive feedback that you’ve received from others.

As you review your success file and fill your mind with positive comments, your doubts and insecurities will quickly disappear and your self confidence will be restored.

9. Preparation

The BIG secret to being self confident that people rarely talk about is – preparation. The more you prepare and practice for an event, the more self confident you will become.

If you are worried about an upcoming event, use your apprehension as a stimulus to take action and practice, practice, practice. The simple but powerful truth is that self confidence grows through repetition and experience.