A problem can give us a chance to grow, says Marty Varnadoe Dow

Crisis is painful, frightening , and difficult. None of us consciously invite crisis into our lives. We do not look forward to the next life threatening event to come our way. We have never received an invitation to celebrate a crisis in the life of one of our friends. The news of a crisis brings feelings of sadness, fear, and regret. No one wants to face death, financial ruin, loss of a job, or a divorce. We do not wish these events on others. So, how is it that I can tell you, who are in crisis, that your situation is the adventure of a lifetime.

I have had the opportunity to walk side by side with many people as they charted the troubled waters of crisis. As a therapist, I have been privileged to hear the secret descriptions of pain and despair felt by my clients. As a medical social worker, I have observed the suffering a family experiences when they learn the fate of a terminally ill loved one. I have held a child in my arms for an hour, as she grieved the death of her mother.
I saw the expressions of hopelessness as the survivors of Hurricane Andrew surveyed the destruction of their homes. As a person , I have felt my own grieve and fear as I faced the crisis of death and illness in my family.
If this was all I had seen in these difficult situations, I could not call crisis an adventure; however , I have been blessed to see another side of trauma. Out of the ashes of despair, I have observed the power of love heal the wounds of a troubled family. I have seen the news of death bring people together in a closeness they never dreamed possible.

After the devastation of Hurricane Andrew, I watched as neighbours dropped racial barriers to help one another rebuild. I have seen clients reach down deep inside themselves to find a superhuman strength to overcome a physical disability. As a spiritual teacher, I have seen despair turn people toward the power of God within them. I have watched seemingly helpless people become spiritual giants as they exercised the power of prayer to overcome an impossible situation.

Crisis is a two-edged sword. It brings the destruction of life as we have known it. It threatens our status quo, creating chaos where there was once stability. It challenges our beliefs and response patterns. It pushes our ability to cope. But crisis always brings opportunity for something new to develop from the ruins of our old way of life. Its pain is like the contractions of labour; almost too much to bear, yet easily forgotten with the joy of a new birth.

Crisis offers many hidden benefits to those who accept the challenge to transform in the face of disaster. It gives you the opportunity to shift directions and make important changes in your life. As people re-evaluate the meaning of life during their crisis , they often discover their life mission, giving them a greater sense of direction and purpose.

Sometimes people in crisis will find an inner strength they never knew existed. Some people learn to tap into their inner guidance for day to day direction. Others find they are given the opportunity to re-evaluate core beliefs that had negatively affected their experiences of life.

Crisis invites you to experience and release old fears. In the face of death or annihilation, people have the opportunity to consciously choose life, often for the very first time. Most people find a deeper connection to God or the creative force of the universe. Many people develop a profound sense of trust, knowing there is someone or something larger than themselves that is watching over them.

Crisis is an opportunity, not a certainty. You can choose to take advantage of the energy in crisis or you can surrender to the feelings of despair and hopelessness. The adventure begins when you choose to accept the challenge and use the circumstances in your life to grow. This painful, sometimes devastating situation is only a stepping stone to something far greater.

I have heard about people who have accepted the challenge, transforming their lives in the midst of crisis. These people are not special. They are ordinary human beings just like you. If they can transform in the face of crisis, so can you.

An excellent article I went through and thought to share, the writer is a Miami-based spiritual teacher, Marty Varnadoe Dow.

Do you often miss recognising opportunity and end up complaining about some of the best things that happen to you

AN author called his friend to seek advice on a film script being offered to him. His dilemma on whether to accept it or not made him call his friend for some hard talk and frank advice.

His was a strange dilemma, one his friend couldn’t understand initially . Here he was being offered a dream project, so why was he dilly dallying about signing the dotted line! After some probing, his friend understood his hesitation; with his first book, he is well known as a romantic fiction writer. Though happy with his success, he has tried in vain to shrug off the epithet since he is clear he wants to be an opinion maker and write more serious stuff.

The more he kicks against it the more it comes back to him with renewed strength. The more he protests he goes beyond romance writing, the more the press revels in attaching the word to his name like an exalted title. Now the problem with the movie was that it too was what they now popularly call a romcom (romantic comedy) and taking it on would further establish him in the genre he is seeking to sidestep!

As a dispassionate observer, his friend could see he had been established neatly in a genre and was on his way to accruing gains from the positioning. But the man was actively trying to escape his own destiny! How could he be sure he would stand to gain as much in another field What if he kicks close the door opened for him now, never to have another held open again Or at least not one that would lead him to the right places
On the other hand, one could argue, how would he know his potential in the other field till he tried his hand at it And self-help gurus tell us that in life there are no gains without taking risks! Who is to know Should he follow his head or heart?

The problem is that sometimes we end up kicking and protesting against things that are the biggest blessings for us. We do not appreciate their value till it is too late. The other day a bureaucrat friend was protesting under the burden of a new project and the stress of increased interactions on a daily basis with the big bosses. His immediate boss was on leave, with the result all the boss’ work and interactions had fallen to his lot. Whoops! And the man was actually complaining and wilting under the burden. His friend asked him if this wasn’t what he always wanted. Yes, he said, but not “this” way! Come on, you cannot dictate the manner in which you achieve your desire! Here was his golden opportunity to prove his worth, or he should declare himself a failure and never dream again!

Indeed, sometimes opportunity can come knocking on the door and you may ignore it, mistaking it for some unwanted visitor ! But again that doesn’t mean you answer every knock expecting Opportunity to be standing outside.

Quite often later in life we realise that in the middle of some of our most beautiful moments we were busy protesting and looking for something else. Seldom do we stop, look around and bless the present moment. To achieve happiness is to stop pursuing greater glory or pleasures and to focus on simpler things. You should to chase their imagination rather than other people’s jobs!

Another friend who was inordinately worried about her son’s education at every stage, when asked if she was happy now her son had returned after post graduation abroad, said, “I am very worried about his job now!” We are always worrying about the next thing rather than enjoying the present moment ! What about being glad for what we get and have in hand rather than pining for what is beyond reach
Would you say that is a shortsighted view Maybe it is, but maybe true happiness lies in the here and now, rather than in chasing whimsical, effervescent butterflies! If you let your body and mind follow the rhythm of time and allow yourself to flow along with life, your instinctive choices are almost always bound to be the right ones.

Just be sure to take responsibility for your own choices and not turn around to blame the one who helped you with some advice if things don’t turn out as expected. Maybe what you didn’t expect is the happier choice for you who knows