Our initial reaction is to resist them, put up a protective wall and confront it is an enemy with which we feel we must do battle. Now the struggle begins. This confrontational approach to problem solving is negative and can produce only negative results; we find ourselves producing more frustration, anxiety, stress and fear than solutions.

Is there an alternative? Indeed there is. Let’s take a close analytical view of problem solving and see what’s really going on here. To be successful we must first accept the fact that the “old” ways are less than effective so any new approach must be a departure from accepted traditional methods.

Look at the world around you and recognize that we live in a world of opposites. We have up & down, short & tall, assets & liabilities, abundance & lack, profits & losses, positive & negative, freedom & bondage, etc., etc., etc. I don’t believe you can think of anything that does not have an implied opposite. Webster defines “opposites” as, “elements that are so far apart and diverse as to be totally irreconcilable one to the other”.

If, then, one of these elements is negative, defined by Webster as, “something that is the opposite or negation of something”, its opposite must be positive, which Webster defines as, “that which is real, not speculative, not fictitious and logically affirmative”.

As we think about it, we realize that what this is saying is that anything negative (the problem) cannot exist alone but requires a positive something to be negative about. That positive “something” is the solution to our problem. We cannot have a problem unless its solution is already available. All we need do is learn how to access it.

To solve any problem, then, we must discipline ourselves to see it only as a negation or unawareness of the answer we are seeking and which already exists. How do we access this? By calmly rejecting that which presents itself to us as a problem, (“an intricate, unsettled question without an answer” [Webster]) as not a “something” we give reality to and quietly search our mind with a “listening” positive expectancy and be responsive to the answer that will present itself to you in this positive mental environment.

Consider the procedure you use when confronted with 2 plus 2 = 8. To resolve this error, you do not focus your efforts on trying to understand the “8” but you reject it and draw on the truth that only a “4” belongs at the end of 2 plus 2. The problem is “solved”.

I know how abstract, unrealistic and impractical this approach sounds, but for many years I have proven its viability in my own personal and professional experiences and to the benefit of a widely diverse client base that has included many of the giants of American business. This revolutionary approach to problem solving is predicated on natural laws and principles which Webster defines as, “the creative and controlling forces of the universe”. Such a condition is absolute and irrevocable. It is the law.

But the sad truth is that fury and intolerance bear away a man’s good reason. It is true that intolerance is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one. In fact, intolerance is the fret, fury and frenzy of the soul. Intolerance is hard to combat because it is willing to buy revenge with a whole life. But controlling the intolerance of one angry moment may mean avoiding a lifetime’s remorse. Shakespeare was entirely accurate when he wrote in Coriolanus; “Anger’s my meat; I sup upon myself!” To be angry is to take revenge upon ourselves for the faults of others.

Anger can surface without warning in the most loving and long-standing relationships. When a childhood friend suddenly flares up over something totally innocuous, it is better to ignore the angry present and focus instead on the harmonious past. Anger makes people insensible, be it a good friend or sibling.

Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. Anger is accompanied by physiological and biological changes. when we get angry, our heart rate goes up and the blood pressure rises, as do energy hormone levels, pumping adrenaline and noradrenaline into the system.

Is anger becoming a 21st century affliction? Some say these changing times make people workaholic and egoistic. Modern life may see many more expressions of anger than before, but could it be that we simply know about them now because the world’s information flow has multiplied to enormous levels? Or could there have been lots of unexpressed anger in earlier times?

Medically speaking, people who remain intolerant and angry most of the time are most susceptible to hypertension and related heart/brain diseases. Re-living unsuccessful or humiliating situations over and over can prove bad for one’s health. Simply remembering an incident that once made you angry can be stressful for the heart.

Often, terrible hurt owing to intolerance takes just minutes to inflict but forgiving the perpetrator requires time. Initially, we experience negative feelings such as anger, sadness and shame. then we try to make sense of what happened. Ultimately we learn to see the person who hurt us through new eyes.

So what is to be done to face angry people? the best way to feel better is the very opposite of revenge. It is saying the words, “I forgive you.” That could be the most powerful things we will ever do. Forgiving doesn’t mean giving in. It means letting go.

Once we forgive, we are no longer emotionally handcuffed to the person who hurt us. when we forgive, we reclaim our power to choose. One can express once’s anger, disappointment or intolerance with a trusted friend or counselor, giving us the strengthening experience of being heard. That is a way to let go of one’s feeling without the danger of saying or doing any thing we will later regret. It is equivalent of punching a pillow. Keeping a journal could help.

If at all you are feeling furious, you can try these things,

- Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won’t relax you.

- Picture your breath coming up from your gut. Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as “relax”, “take it easy”. Repeat while breathing deeply.

- Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from memory or imagination.

- Gentle and slow exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.

- You could also try the stress buster machines at your nearest gym or spa.

This is yet another wave of evidence indicating that rest, not work, is the basis for success. Unfortunately, the world’s population is brainwashed into thinking workaholism is the answer and minimizes or truncates quality rest. That is something I cannot fathom. It is so abundantly obvious to me that denying rest for your mind and body makes your thinking dull and your activity ineffective. Hopefully some day the world will realize that it is not how long and hard you work but how deeply you rest that determines success.

To this end, let me take it one giant step further. I have found that any hour of sleep between 10PM and midnight is worth two hours of sleep after midnight. If I can get to bed (with lights out and eyes closed) before 10PM, my “luck” improves dramatically the next day. Nature  supports those who are  rested, clear, alert and energetic. Hitting the hay by 10PM gets you the most beneficial sleep and with it Nature’s blessings.

Breathe deeply through your nose for a few minutes and let the tension release from your neck and shoulders. There is some evidence that tensed-up shoulders and neck can reduce blood flow to the brain. There is a lot of evidence that creativity increases when we are relaxed.

2. Examine Your Assumptions

Anytime you approach a problem, take a look at the assumptions you and others are making. Challenge them, to see what you might learn. For example, if you are trying to design a new pet store, you might challenge the idea people have to come to see the animals. Of course they have to come to see them, you assume, but upon challenging the idea, it occurs to you that you might bring the pets into people’s homes, so they can see how they’ll do there. This might even be a great sale’s technique.

3. Ask “What If” Questions

Simple questions that start with “what if” can be a powerful way to generate new and creative ideas. For example, the question “What if books were free?” could lead to a series of books that have paid advertising in them, and are given away. Many free newspapers are profitable in this way, so it is a natural thought to try it with books. The idea is to ask many “what if” questions, and let anything come to mind to be explored for a moment.

4. Assume You’ll Have A Good Idea

Make the assumption that you’ll have a good idea. This is a powerful way to stimulate your brain, and a great habit to have. I have to assume that I’ll come up with plausible examples for these techniques as I write this article, and I am convinced that this assumption keeps the ideas coming.

5. Look For Another Approach

What other ways can you approach this problem? This is a question you should be in the habit of asking yourself. Suppose you are a landlord, and you have a problem getting non-paying tenants evicted. They stay forever, and you keep trying new legal strategies. Then you ask yourself what other approaches might work, and it occurs to you that you can pay them to leave. You still make more money because you get new tenants (who pay) in more quickly. Always look for other approaches.

6. Look For Humor In The Situation

The neighbors dog barks when you’re trying to sleep, despite your many complaints. You look for the humor in the situation, and find yourself wanting to bark at your neighbor. That gives you the idea to record his own dogs barking and play the recording very loud when HE is sleeping. Humor can sometimes lead to new creative ideas and solutions, but laughing is also a great way to relax, which helps you think better.

7. Play With Other’s Ideas

Albert Einstein once said, “The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.” Most ideas are not truly “new.” Don’t be afraid to look around at how others have solved a problem. Take the creative ideas of other people and adapt them to your purposes. While trying to spot a plain suitcase among a hundred similar ones on an airport luggage carousel, I saw a suitcase that had been painted bright colors. Someone needs to steal that idea and produce a line of bright, easy-to-locate luggage.