Being number one is not the end of the chase, its the beginning

Often people strive to acquire the number one position. However, once they become number one and feel that hey have achieved everything, it marks the beginning of the rather strange life. Their mind gets totally occupied with retaining the number one position. They become cautious of the people just behind them and put extra effort in maintaining image.

The person at a number one position sleeps less, eats less and his peace of mind disappears. Blood pressure, sugar, anxiety, restlessness and palpitation, suddenly become a part of this rich man’s world. In addition, he is left with no inspiration and no one to look up to and achieve a different, much higher target. Not merely he, his entire family bears the brunt of him being at number one position. A self-acquired responsibility dominates his mind almost 24 hours a day, seven days a week and 52 weeks in a year.

On the other hand, imagine the condition of the person who is at number two position. Apart from a little pain of not being at number one position, he is much relaxed and happier. He knows that he can get away with few things as there is a senior above him to take responsibility. He has a well nourished ambition to become number one and he works hard for it. He has a strong credibility attached, as people around him know that still has to reach top and will not spoil his position or reputation. He enjoys an easy life with family and friends. All he needs is to concentrate on his present job, work hard, be honest and dedicated and things would automatically fall in his way. If you have played the game of chess, you would understand the value of ‘Vazir’ who is considered number two in the game but is sometimes even more important than the number one, the kind. Once the ‘Vazir’ is killed, half of the game is won by the opponent. The ranks are in the same order. At times, the number two play a far more important and stronger role in an organisation, than the number one. The dependency of number one on number two makes the later the ‘Vazir’ of the organization without which the ‘King’ is incomplete and fears losing a battle.

This does not imply that one should not strive to become number one. This article is for those who are aiming at becoming number one but they are somehow are not able to achieve the position. Do not worry. There is a famous ad line ‘We are at number two we work hard’. Your efforts are duly recognized by everyone and especially those who fear that someday you would become number one, so be happy.

Confidence the key to success

Confident people are more likely to perform well and it is a known fact that enhancing confidence levels boosts one’s performance. Self-confidence is often mistaken for self-esteem but these are two different things. Self-esteem is the way one feels about him or herself – t is an evaluated judgment about oneself. A person with high self-esteem is highly critical about themselves despite being confident of doing well.

Most people have an inner map that determines their confidence levels in different situations. The most important ingredient for success in any field is a strong sense of self-confidence. Some people for instance, are sure about them when interacting with others and can strike conversations with complete strangers. If a person is confident in diverse situations, he or she has greater chance of success in line.

Templates of this map or schema that determine self-confidence are based on two types of beliefs: The first is belief of possibilities. This refers to what one believes is possible. A shy person believing that it possible to strike up a conversation with a good-looking stranger is a good example. If you believe that something is impossible, it is likely that you will never attempt to do it.

The second type is belief of capability i.e. what an individual is capable of achieving. Ask yourself, “Am I capable of learning how to be confident in the situation I desire?” Be it social, academics or something else.

One technique is visualisation to re-programme one’s mind and change the beliefs that rob your sense of ease while doing something. These techniques also enhance self-esteem. Hypnosis or self-hypnosis is another method of changing one’s beliefs and learning how to be more confident. But one should be careful, as hypnosis bypasses critical filters of the mind and unless skilfully done, can cause adverse reactions.

In addition to changing one’s inner map or schema, it is also important to step out of your ‘comfort zone’ and translate this into action by trying out new behaviours. It is imperative that you keep doing this so that you gradually stretch yourself into becoming confident and effective in more areas of life and thus, more successful

Developing Self-Confidence

One of the most important steps to achieving your goals in life is to develop a strong sense of self confidence. This does not however involve becoming loud or arrogant. On the contrary, people with genuine self confidence are usually calm and self assured and do not need to ‘big note’ themselves.

1. Visualise Yourself As The Person You Want To Be

Each morning spend a few minutes visualising yourself as the person you want to be. Think about the way you dress, the way you carry yourself and the way you interact with other people. Seeing yourself as the person you want to become is the first step towards building self confidence.

2. Self Confidence Statement

After visualising yourself as the person you want to be, read the following statement out loud:

“I know I have the ability to achieve my major goal in life. Therefore today,
I demand of myself persistent and continuous action towards achieving my goal”

Reading this statement out loud is a great way to start your day in a confident state of mind.

3. Dress Well

One of the most effective ways to instantly improve your level of self confidence is to dress well and to make the decision to always be well groomed. This does not mean you have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe. Instead, just focus on gradually building up a small collection of good quality clothes. Also remember that simple accessories such as a tie clip or necklace can make a big difference to the way you look and feel.

4. Positive Posture

Another powerful way to build your sense of self confidence is to stand up straight and lose the slouch that many of us have acquired over the years. While you may be able to make a change to your posture by simply becoming aware of it, the best way to make a long lasting change to your posture is to practice yoga or pilates.

5. Move With Purpose

A simple but effective tip for increasing your levels of self confidence is to always move with a sense of purpose. In his book ‘The Magic of Thinking Big’, David Schwartz recommends walking 25% faster than normal. Having a spring in your step lets people know that you have important things to do and actually makes you feel more confident as you go about your daily business.

6. Become A Participant

Have you ever noticed that in most meetings or groups, people immediately head towards the back of the room so that they can remain as inconspicuous as possible? A great way to increase your visibility and sense of self confidence is to make the decision to always sit towards the front of the room and be a participant. When you have something to say – don’t be afraid to say it.

7. Connect With Confidence

Another way to quickly improve your self confidence is to practice making a strong first impression. When you meet someone face-to-face, look them directly in the eye, smile broadly, shake hands firmly and say, “Hi Jim, nice to meet you”.

Similarly, you can sound more confident on the phone by answering, “Good morning Carol Jones speaking” instead of simply saying “Hello”

8. Build Your Success File

Occasionally your self confidence will take a hit when something doesn’t work out the way you hoped. One of the best ways to repair your self confidence in this situation is to keep a folder outlining your past achievements and successes. You should also include any positive feedback that you’ve received from others.

As you review your success file and fill your mind with positive comments, your doubts and insecurities will quickly disappear and your self confidence will be restored.

9. Preparation

The BIG secret to being self confident that people rarely talk about is – preparation. The more you prepare and practice for an event, the more self confident you will become.

If you are worried about an upcoming event, use your apprehension as a stimulus to take action and practice, practice, practice. The simple but powerful truth is that self confidence grows through repetition and experience.