You can find people in leadership roles almost everywhere you look. However, simply shouldering responsibilities of a leader doesn’t necessarily makea a person an effective leader. Leadership itself is a privilege and a skill. There are many leadership skils and competencies that when combined and applied, go towards making you an effective leader.

So what is empathy? Empathy is the ability to have an intuitive understanding of other people and their needs. Within a business setting, it is critical for empathy to be as widespread as possible, permeating all departments from sales to accounting to manufacturing. In today’s world, as evidenced by the terrible financial crisis of last year, there is a possibility that we could get too caught up in data. When we do that, we often fail to see truths that are right in front of us. Employees at ll levels of an organization need to understand the people beyond the office walls – their customers, their clients etc. This enables everyone to make better real-world decisions. Over time, even the smallest decisions influenced by empathy add together to produce a more informed and nimble organization.

Empathy is a necessary attribute of a great leader but i is not sufficient. A lot more is required. In fact, some highly aggressive corporate environments see empathy as a sign of weakness. A good example of such cold-bloodedness was the hot-shot chief executive Albert John Dunlap, who appeared to relish the title of ‘Chainsaw A1′, bestowed upon him for the way he could and would fire any number of employees without hesitation. Well, he was considered to be golder CEO for a while, but he ended up being denounced for an accounting fraud! And that’s the core of the matter – people who are not empathetic often end up being selfish and short sighted instead.

Effective leaders, make tough decisions when situations warrant, but hey also communicate with employees and understand what they are going through. Empathy distinguishes a good leader from the great ones, in a crises situations.

It has been understood that empathy is one quality that a leader must possess in order to be successful and it also plays a role in making an organization achieve its vision. So,, what are the behaviors that go into making any person empathetic towards others and how can this quality be developed?

Empathy can be built from three major behavior
- Recognizing your own shortcomings – past and present.
- Listening to others and learning more about their lives and their private challenges
- Explicitly aspiring to a noble deal of leadership.

If you want your business to adopt widespread empathy, there are really three steps to follow.
1 – Leave the office and get outside. Go to places where people are most likely to act like themselves.
2 – Be genuinely interested in other people. Forget about what is that you do and start caring about the needs of others. Find the real needs first and your solutions will dramatically improve too.
3 – Bring evidence of the real world back to your offices.

Empathetic leaders position people first. True empathy stems from the leader’s ability to display genuine concern towards the needs of others. High level of empathy is denoted by:
1 – Listening to people:
Pay attention to their tone of voice, to the hidden emotions behind what they are saying to you and to the context. Don’t interrupt people. Don’t dismiss their concerns offhand.

2 – Focusing on the non-verbal communication:
the body language of people often communicates what they think or feel, even when their verbal communication says something quite different.

3 – Being fully present:
when you are conversing with people, don’t check your email, look at your watch or take phone calls. Allow people to have their comment.

4 – A Smile:
it makes people comfortable and you more.

Hence, it can rightly be said that, even if you have all the qualities of becoming a successful leader, but if you miss the basic quality of feeling empathy towards your teammates, your journey towards success will be very short lived. Put yourself in their shoes and see how success touches your feet.

1: Pro Wrestling Project Management

Much like the world of professional wrestling, the world of project management can be filled with empty threats, posturing, feuds, rivalries, and unusual alliances. But what if the similarities were made an official part of project management? Let’s face it, I think we have all (at least once) dreamed of putting stubborn clients into a headlock until their faces turned purple, or maybe seeing the project manager spend 20 minutes in a steel cage with the operations manager. To really make it an authentic experience, managers would be required to enter conference rooms to music and perform a variety of poses designed to intimidate any other managers.

2: The Rolling Stones Development Model

During their extensive career, The Rolling Stones have produced a song for every occasion — and nearly everyone is familiar with their most popular tunes. So it seems like a perfectly logical jump that instead of “standard communications,” one could run an entire development project using sound clips from various Stones songs. Is the client demanding an impossible timeline? “You Can’t Always get what You Want.” Is their favorite feature impossible to code up in a way that makes them happy? “I Can’t Get No (Satisfaction).” Is the project in deep trouble? “19th Nervous Breakdown.”

#3: Bug Bounties/Penalties

Ever feel like half your day is spent cleaning up someone else’s mistakes? It’s even worse when you find out that the person who is making you feel like your job has been reduced to “clean up on aisle two” is earning as much (or more) money than you are. Imagine for a moment that any problem that could be definitively pinned on a co-worker’s poor quality of work would have a financial penalty attached to it, and that the person who fixed it would get that same amount of money. Would that co-worker’s mistakes be such a headache then? Probably not. I suspect many of us would look forward to them!

#4: Jargon-free Communications

Sometimes, listening to a manager (or worse, a salesperson) feels like you’re reading a Tom Clancy novel, with all of the acronyms, industry-specific slang, and other incomprehensible jargon. It seems like every other sentence requires more time to decipher than it took to say it. I think we can all agree that if management started using real, standard English (or your local language of choice) instead of these marketer-speak filled, incomprehensible messes, the world would be a better place. Unfortunately, we are probably more likely to see a wrestling ring put into the lunchroom (see #1) before that happens.

#5: Geek Games for Performance Reviews

Most of management’s existing techniques for measuring performance simply look at the wrong factors. Ever notice that they count the times you were late to arrive but ignore all the times you were in the office at 11 PM patching servers or writing critical pieces of code? What is really needed is a metric for overall geekiness. A much more effective review would be a pentathlon challenge, testing each employee in the following critical areas:

• Knowledge of sci-fi and fantasy movies and books
• Ability to stay in-character over a five-hour role playing session
• Modern video game skills (FPS death match)
• Classic video game skills (Super Mario Brothers speed completion)
• Ability to identify ancient computer hardware and make it work

I think with this kind of review, it would be easy to ensure that raises and promotions went only to those who have what it takes to be top-flight technologists.

#6: Charging for Dumb Questions

Remember when you were in school, and the teacher told you, “The only dumb question is the one you don’t ask?” Well, from what I can tell, that rule goes out the window the moment you become an IT worker. Your day is now filled with giving answers to dumb questions from people who won’t understand the answers anyway. Management loves to bandy about the saying, “Time is money.” Let’s put these two ideas together. If management wants us to spend our time answering questions, that’s fine; we’ll simply charge them for it. Under this new policy, all IT employees will be given a mobile device that allows them to time any useless interactions with management and record the manager’s name. At the end of the month, their department will be charged at “standard consulting fees” (say, $250/hour), which is then put into the IT department’s budget, earmarked for perks like new PCs, raises, and other niceties.

#7: No Degree? No Problem!

Most of those who are in the know in the IT industry realize that college degrees and even many industry certifications don’t directly translate into real world IT experience, let alone the ability to do the job. Try telling that to the HR department, though. Sure, many roles within IT can benefit from formal, academic-style training (people writing compilers and device drivers come to mind), but those positions are fairly uncommon. However, for the typical IT worker, dropping the college degree or certifications from the “mandatory” list would be a wonderful thing. Not likely to happen in our lifetimes, but one can dream.

#8: Siskel & Ebert 360 Reviews

The 360 review is a model in which everyone on the team reviews everyone else. Of course, this promises that the workers get to review management. Wouldn’t it be sweet if this was done in a “thumbs up/thumbs down” format, complete with bickering over things like the manager’s handling of weekly meetings, the quality of his or her memos, and the tone in which the team is addressed? I can picture it now: “Well Bob, to be honest, Sally is really lacking in the leadership department. When she tries to give constructive criticism it sounds like she is really phoning in the performance. A thumbs down from me!”

#9: Relevant Manager Dashboards

At one job I had, I created a number of “manager dashboard” reports. I think we are all familiar with these. They’re supposed to show the manager’s world at a glance. The more it tries to look like the instrument panel of a car or airplane, the less likely it is to show any information that actually relates to the project at hand. To make matters worse, IT projects are pretty difficult to quantify, so you end up with dashboards that don’t really mean much of anything at all.

I propose that we put together some dashboards for our bosses that show what we think the bosses need to know at a glance. We could have a thermometer indicating the team’s frustration level and a tachometer for hours worked per week… with anything over 40 being the “red zone.” We could also put in some idiots lights. But instead of saying “check engine” or “change oil,” they will indicate “team nearing mutiny” and “Jim needs a vacation.”

#10: Better Project and Team Names

Okay, we’re going to violate #4 here. We recognize that management is going to insist on keeping codenames and acronyms for projects and teams. So why not have codenames that make us feel like we are part of something interesting, at the very least? In other words, if the project is about to be named “Project Happy Kitty Cats” it needs to be named something better. Like “Operation Cthulhu” or possibly “Project Thor’s Wrath.” Likewise, instead of boring team names, such as “QA” or “Network Operations,” we should have much more colorful names. I’m not suggesting that the development team be renamed “Cobra” (and the supervisor be known as “Cobra Commander”), but how about renaming Tech Support to “Really Trying to Fix Mistakes”, aka “RTFM?”

Professor Daniel Ames, with a colleague in the Management Division, Frank Flynn, centered their research on coworker evaluations of their MBA students. Former coworkers commented on the students’ strengths and weaknesses and also rated their leadership potential. When asked, “What’s holding this person back from being a great leader?” the answer that came up most often was assertiveness. This was mentioned from both sides of the coin, with some people described as too overbearing and others described as not assertive enough to stand their ground.

The reason assertiveness comes up so often is that conflict is such an essential part of what managers and leaders deal with. He said,

“Sometimes it’s avoiding conflicts that really beg to be embraced and engaged in. Other times it’s pushing too hard and straining relationships through conflict.”

There’s variance across situations as well:

“Someone who’s a real mouse to their immediate supervisor might turn around and be an absolute terror to the people who work for him or her.”

I think, too, that the motive or outcome behind “winning” has something to do with the effectiveness of assertiveness. A leader who wants to win just for the sake of winning is less effective than the leader who is going to bat for something he or she believes in. But even then, a highly assertive person (even if they’re fighting for the right reason) may not see the consequences of his behavior. For example, he doesn’t see that the person he just dealt with is feeling frustrated or angry — feelings that can linger and affect the next interaction – all that is important is the win.

Middle levels of assertiveness tend to be associated with more effective leadership:

“We find what is essentially an inverted U between the ratings of a person’s assertiveness and the ratings of their leadership: up to a certain point it’s positively associated, and then it goes back down.”

How do you make someone who is too assertive less so? And how do you make a meek person more assertive? Ames recognizes that you can’t change someone’s character. But with the right kind of coaching, you can alter the person’s behavior.

Early in my career, I was assertively-challenged, if you will. But that gradually changed the more time I spent in the working world. I saw that assertiveness is not anger, and that there are just times you need to push your case.

While moving up the ranks from being 1 of many engineers to vice president of the company’s entire IT group, I’ve enjoyed a solid and satisfying career with the same employer for 12 years.  Until now, I’ve never thought much at all about the “politics” that take place elsewhere.  Until now.

About 8 months ago, a new VP was hired to oversee a new venture at my company.  He’s an older guy; I’m 39 and he’s probably in his mid-50s.  From the first day he arrived I’ve gone out of my way to let him know that I’d be happy to help him with anything that could help him succeed.  Now, it seems, I was naive.

Over the past couple of months he’s made statements during our leadership team meetings that make me and my team look ineffective.  In a company project review last week, he seemed to make a point of commenting about every issue or problem my department was encountering with our deliverables.  After drawing attention to a few of them – in front of managers and department heads from several departments – he told our boss that he’d be happy to help me out by taking on the additional responsibility of overseeing all company-wide projects.  He said that he has a lot more experience with this type of complexity than anyone else (implication being me), that he’s got extra time, and that it just made sense to lend his hand to ensure we don’t miss deadlines.

I was set up and made to look like I can’t do my job.  I realize now that he’s had this plan all along and I didn’t see his office politics until now.  I think my boss is seriously considering the idea of boosting our new VP’s status and the idea infuriates me.   This has me very upset.  It’s all I can think about even when I’m at home with my family.

Am I screwed?  If it comes down to it, I will not report to this unethical and self serving jerk.  Is it time to start looking for a new job?

Well, it does sound like you’ve been out-maneuvered by the new guy.  But you may not have to start looking for a new job just yet, Gerald.  Before I give you my suggestions about your “next steps”; let’s take a minute to review what happened in your situation.

New, older guy arrives. He’s brought in at the same level as you and tasked with the success of a new venture. It’s clear that this new venture is a high priority because of his VP level and direct reporting to the big boss.  You, the younger, “home-grown” talent with 12 years at the company, and a collegial guy, offered to help show him how to get things done.  Eight months later, the new guy is pointing out all your problems and making a power play to get more responsibility. Now the boss seems to be considering the idea.

Let’s spend a minute looking at this new guy: He’s in his 50s, coming into a new firm, with a high-profile role. For him, he may view this opportunity as his last, best chance to make a big mark in his career.  And at his age, he’s seen and probably played a lot of politics over the years. Many execs don’t get his kind of chance to make a big contribution with a new employer this late in their careers.  He could be very motivated to show his expertise, and may want to be regarded as a go-to guy who can do a lot more than the other veeps.  He’s got a lot of skin in this game.

Whether or not anyone actually considers that he could potentially become your new boss, you need to make it very clear, for all concerned, that you know what needs to be done and will do what it takes to succeed.

You could also help your boss to recognize that the new guy has enough on his own plate already. We’re talking about hard-nosed tactics and actions. Here are a few things to consider:

1. Measure twice — cut once. If your team’s doing everything right, there’s less reason for the boss to make any change. That means that your key team members need to be operating at peak performance. But if you’ve got mistakes happening, take action. Immediately, have a serious conversation with anyone who’s dropping the ball. Help these individuals see the importance of doing their job, at all times, in a first class way.  And make it clear that you cannot allow any more hiccups.

2.  Check the lay of the land. Without being too obvious, find out how others in the company view this guy. Discreetly check the perceptions of peers, support area heads in HR or Finance, and your boss. Is he someone who can be trusted or do others view him with suspicion? You want to verify your feelings.

3.  Consider the Japanese management style. As far back as the 1600s, managers and warriors understood that they had similarities in their day to day activity. Miyamoto Musashi, perhaps the most famous Samurai, wrote A Book of Five Rings about strategic thinking and tactics for warriors; but it’s been studied by leaders of all types ever since. Anyone seeking strategy guidance can consider his advice for almost any situation. I’ll caution you – it’s tough stuff; but office politics can be too – with lives and careers irreparably damaged. This read may provide some ideas for you.

4. Deal with issues head-on. Get together with this guy over a cup of coffee or a drink. Do it someplace that is not his office to eliminate any potential “home turf advantage.”  Gain an understanding of his motives and his goals. Act accordingly.

Hopefully it’s not too late to deal with this issue and put it to rest.  This may also be a good time to polish up your resume and make sure you’re in good shape just in case this goes the wrong way. Even if things improve, I’d recommend that you – and all senior types – go out on at least one job interview each year.  It will help you to find out what’s out there and how things compare. This little action will keep you sharper and reduce any tendency toward complacency.