LET CRITICISM INSPIRE YOU

During the presentation ceremony of the 20-20 World Cup, Dhoni looked at Ravi Shashtri and, with a genuine smile, said, I remember you called us underdogs and so we have won the cup for you. Here is a man who does not collapse under the weight of a comment from an important cricketer but works forward with gusto, logic and a renewed determination. When important people undermine or underestimate you, get in touch with your feelings of fear, dread, anger or sadness and convert these into greater resolve.

MOVE ON

When India loses, Dhoni often publicly accepts the teams shortfalls but does not dwell on them for long. During one loss, he said, This match is over, lets plan for the next. Unlike captains of yesteryears, who would brood, ruminate and introspect too much, our reigning captain has mastered the art of leaving things behind. Fear and disappointment are not allowed to percolate his mind. Just focus on newer frontiers with a fresh pair of eyes and a refreshed mood. Do not be the victim of excessive critical appraisal from yourself or others. It may paralyse you.

US, NOT I

On the day of victory, the World Cup was in every players hands, except Dhonis. A couple of years ago, Dhoni asked Anil Kumble to take the cup after a victory in a test series. His genuine affection for his team is visible and the bonding is strong. He has praise for all but neither did he mince words when Gambhir failed to make his 100 due to a bad shot. He is genuine, even blunt. He has publicly made statements such as, Our middle order should perform or Sreeshanth should behave.

STAY COOL

Dhoni is cool during tense moments. No sledging, or rash words. It would be interesting to learn more about his self-talk. It probably involves thoughts such as Calm down, Focus now or Let me try something new. The feeling of dread and fear is allowed to pass. He probably observes these emotions come and go on his mind screen. This thought process is visible on his face that remains childlike many a time during a crisis. So, when the chips are down, just observe your feelings as they come. If you find yourself fretting or yelling, you have been hijacked emotionally and will lose friends and battles. If not, creative responses will emerge.

KEEP AT IT

MSD teased Ravi Shashtri by saying, If we had lost, many questions why Sreeshanth, why did I bat before Yuvraj would have been asked. His getting into the middle of a battle shows he loves challenges and does not bother with incessant advice from exgreats. Like Anil Kumble, who shared at his retirement that he ignored all criticism during his lean period and persisted, our captain also practices dogged perseveration with risk-taking. The Dhoni mantra is clear persevere while down, take risks and obey your instincts.

GRATITUDE

Lastly but importantly, Dhoni feels and expresses his gratitude openly. After the win, he said, I chose to come before and Gary backed me. Thanking Gary and Paddy, and others significant to his performance as well as that of the team, comes naturally to him. Gratitude is a part of his personality.

Having an Inferiority Complex can have disastrous effects.

A lot of people tend to suffer from inferiority in varying degrees and very few are brave enough to accept this fact.Lets analyze: Do you often compare yourself to others and feel inferior compared to them? Do you intentionally avoid any form of competition because you’re afraid you will lose to others? Are you always afraid to voice your opinions, fearing that others will laugh and ridicule you for it? And in the process avoid socializing or restrict yourself only to a couple of friends. Do you wonder if others have anything good to say about yourself? If yes, then there are high chances that you suffer from Inferiority Complex.

DEFINITION

Inferiority complex is mainly a psychological condition that finds its roots in childhood and manifests itself into adulthood, if not recognized at an earlier stage. Those who suffer from such a complex constantly belittle themselves and are very sensitive. Feelings of inferiority arise when one feels that he/she is less worthy than a certain group of people or that he/she doesn’t have enough skills in comparison with his/her peers. For e.g. When you see an attractive or a talented person, you feel bad. Deep inside, you wish you can be like them. You’re constantly dissatisfied and blame yourself saying I’m not good enough.

Inferiority complex is, The common cold of Psychology. Inferiority Complex is putting oneself down (degrading yourself) for something that you do not possess.This possession could be in terms of abilities and talents and/or materialistic commodities.

CAUSES

There are several reasons for harboring an inferiority complex, the most common one being, parental attitudes. When parents are very harsh towards their child in terms of criticism and constantly comparing with others, the child begins to feel that he/he is not good enough. There are cases of individuals who have been under-achievers academically and socially brings down their morale and self-worth. Then there are some who are taken for granted by their partners in their relationships, by abusing them and putting them down all the time. Sometimes bad experiences like getting humiliated by ones peers in school or even at work due to mistakes, can make one prone to inferiority complex.
Reasons like social conditioning where winners are looked upon more favorably than those who don’t win, rich people are believed to be superior than the poor, etc. add to the belief that one is superior or inferior as a person according to what he/she achieves and does. So a combination of social factors play a part in the development of the inferiority complex.

EFFECTS

Having an inferiority complex can have adverse effects on ones personality, relationships and on the professional front too. As for effects on ones personality, there’s a severe lack of self-confidence which could give rise to stuttering, stammering and social isolation. Sometimes it can also give rise to substance abuse in the form of alcoholism, smoking, etc.,  as a negative form of coping, which is more common among men. Women on the other hand, tend to indulge in jealousy, bitterness and pettiness as a form of coping, which is undesirable too. As for relationships, individuals suffering from inferiority complex tend to cower and are always at the mercy of others. They devalue themselves, and believe that they cant do better and wont get better. So they live in physically, emotionally and sexually abusive relationships because they believe that they are worthless that they dont deserve better. They are always submissive and non-confrontational because they think so little of themselves. Thus, they always play second fiddle in their relationships and compromise beyond the limits of their integrity.

On the professional front, such individuals never accept challenging roles. They always hide from demanding work. Because they never wish to fail and are petrified of being accountable, they make safe choices. So they run away from taking responsibility, avoid positions of power and/or promotions.

COPING
It is imperative that one immediately work on their self-esteem to combat feelings of inferiority complex. It is always better to seek professional help to handle such a delicate issue. The first step is to identify the core issues underlying this behavior. Positive thinking and self-talk is crucial.

Following are some tips:
- Learn to focus on your strengths and potentials.
- Make it a point to reward yourself for your achievements.
- Remind yourself that you are worthy of praise and praise yourself.
- Stop placing unrealistic high expectations on yourself.
- Take in enjoyable activities and surround yourself with positive people who like and encourage you to do better.
- Nurture your body with a healthy diet and exercise.
- Be forgiving of yourself when things dont go as planned.

Hope this helps