What does it take to hold on to principles?

How difficult is to be man of integrity in today’s world? But Sachin Tendulkar, stands on his principles no matter what. A great exhibition of his integrity was when Sachin Tendulkar walked out, without a backward glance, in India Vs West Indies world cup match, even when an Australian umpire Steve Davis declared him not out!

Sachin, did not hesitate for a second walked off. He knew he has nicked the ball and that was enough for him to walk off. This is not the first time, Sachin has always been a walker!

Ricky Ponting, Australian captain on the other hand, stood his ground even when he knew he has nicked the ball, while playing against Pakistan. He was declared not out but he did not walk off, after being reviewed he was declared out. In the post match interview, Pointing confessed, he knew he had nicked, but din’t walk off.

Sachin, being such a great cricketer, nobody ridicule’s him for holding on to the principles. But not everyone is Sachin.

Adam Gilchrist, another Australian, is one of the player who walks off. He has confessed he never had support from his team to walk off which made him feel isolated. He said, he felt selfish, as if he is walking for the sake of my own image, thereby everyone else look dishonest.

Principles are difficult to stand by, especially when others oppose. All of us have some principles, but they often become flexible, depending upon situation. You should always stand to your words, you should refuse to compromise under any circumstances, be in integrity. You’ll always have problems in doing so, but if you stand out you’ll always be happy deep within.

People in today’s world try to look good and avoid looking bad, thinking what others will think about them. It has become very difficult to be honest, but you should be honest with yourself, atleast!

To be true to yourself takes courage. It requires you to be introspective, sincere,open-minded and fair. It does not mean that you are inconsiderate or disrespectful of others. It means that you will not let others define you or make decisions for you that you should make for yourself.

Don’t listen to those who say, “It’s not done that way.” Maybe it’s not, but maybe you will. Don’t listen to those who say, “You’re taking too big a chance.” Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed out by today. Most importantly, don’t listen when the little voice of fear inside of you rears its ugly head and says, “They’re all smarter than you out there. They’re more talented, they’re taller, blonder, prettier, luckier and have connections…” I firmly believe that if you follow a path that interests you, not to the exclusion of love, sensitivity, and cooperation with others, but with the strength of conviction that you can move others by your own efforts, and do not make success or failure the criteria by which you live, the chances are you’ll be a person worthy of your own respect.–Neil Simon

Similarly, you may have worked out a superb project with deep research and smart inputs, but if your timelines are not worked out and you cross the deadline, it is those couple of hours of delay that become the decisive factor! Similarly, you may be a great worker and a superb professional, but your loose tongue at an inappropriate moment may put paid to the rest of your capabilities ! And just like an intelligent chat show host, you will always find plenty of people around you not just willing, but eager to exploit your negative potential as displayed through that one weak link, that one vulnerability!

There is a category of people who wheedle info after putting you at ease and assuring you they are totally with you. Most of us have had a brush, or several, with the office pseudo sympathiser who always emerges soon as he smells your moment of insecurity or misery. He always knows, for he is on the lookout. And sure enough, there he appears with oodles of sympathy and a smile, pumping you subtly for information. He gives subtle hints and encourages you to speak up. In a moment of weakness, you are most prone to let go and spill it all out. Satisfied, he runs back where he came from and uses the information to his own advantage before you realise! It is only later you realise he got you to bare all but never ever shared any of his or her own troubles! Your one weak moment could have done you a lifetime of harm!

Consider the power of weakness! Even the power of a relationship it is rightly said, lies with the one who cares less never with the one who cares more and so has more at stake! So the weaker your love, the more powerful you are to mould or manoeuvre the relationship and your partner as and how you wish to! And yet, what a miserable power when the partners weakest link, his/her strong love for you, would be the biggest weapon you would use against them!

It is indeed our moments of weakness and weak points that we need to guard its when you are most comfortable that you should be most guarded too. We are born with strengths that we can at best hone and understand, but an equally important task is to understand our weaknesses and work hard upon those. For these, our greatest weaknesses, if guarded and worked upon, have the potential of becoming our greatest strengths!

Remember,the great Achilles was only as strong as his weak heel! Had that not been known, who could have killed him. Had it not been known that Bheeshma would lay down his weapons if faced by a woman and Shikandi not been used for the purpose,who could have defeated the mighty warrior Had it not been known that Abhimanyu could pierce the chakravyuha but not find his way back,how could that innocent son of Arjuna been killed by the Kaurvas.

“The difference in winning and losing is most often… not quitting.”

– Walt Disney

Be relentless in your pursuit for Gratitude! Don’t quit if you are working towards your goals. Remember to have fun regardless of what is happening.

The simple things often work the best! Use the K.I.S.S. method – Keep It Simple, Silly!

Love Yourself

One of the most important relationships of all is the one you share with yourself.Unfortunately,most of us allow our perception of our own strengths and capabilities to be determined by those around us family,friends and colleagues.Their opinion is what we begin to believe as the truth despite the fact that we know exactly what heights we are capable of touching.And,as most of you in this kind of a situation will agree,it can often leave one with a sense of worthlessness as no matter what you do,you just never seem to meet anyone’s expectations.

Love yourself

Most people opine that if you love yourself,you are a vain person.This,however,is far from the truth.In reality,its more important for a person to love themselves,even before loving someone else.Its only when one is comfortable with themselves and who they are that you will be able to accept the other person for who they are and love them wholly,not because they conform to your needs or wants.

The importance of loving yourself is very significant because it helps one survive.When you love yourself,you take pride in yourself as an individual and attempt to do your best in your chosen field of endeavor.Positive self love can be highly motivating and encourage an individual to achieve what they believe they can/should.Self love also propagates love towards others because only when you are happy with yourself will you do things,not only for you but for others too.Loving others is but an extension of loving yourself.A mother who is not happy being a mother can never love her baby.Similarly,if you don’t love yourself and you don’t consider yourself worthy of love from others,you will be unable to spread your love to others.If we keep living by others opinions and expectations,we are doing great injustice to ourselves.Each human was designed to be an individual and though society tries its utmost to tame our impulses,our individuality shines in some way or the other.Hence,those who accept their individuality and uniqueness are on a path of happiness while those who suppress it remain unhappy and miserable because they don’t see a meaning to their lives.However,if loving oneself is carried to the extreme of narcissistic love,where it is only love yourself and give a damn about others,then the process of self harm starts.This leads to alienation and separation from others which leads to isolation and unhappiness.

Believe in yourself

Though everyone may have their own opinion,remember that you and only you are the true judge of your capabilities.Each of us know our s t re t ch i n g point and our breaking point,and most often its much more that others will tell you.So no matter what happens,and how many times you fail,its only your belief in yourself that will give you the strength to get up,move on and cross that finishing line.

Ones motivation to achieve big things come mainly from believing in yourself and in your capability to do so.Apart from that,you also need to believe in your talents,values and the purpose of your task.Sometimes,the things people say may cause you to doubt yourself.But instead of losing faith and getting disheartened,its better to look at the comments as constructive criticism.It is very important to nurture the ability to convert bad feedback into constructive criticism.At times,the quick pace at which your peers may achieve success can also be a de-motivator.However,it is important to remember that each person works at their own pace and that,just because you are slower,doesn’t mean what you’re doing is less good or less powerful that the other person.

Forgive yourself

To err is human,to forgive divine.Remember,this adage is as applicable to yourself as it is to the other people around you.Its very easy to chastise yourself for mistakes made but you are just as human and prone to mistakes are your friends and close ones.Hence,just like you’d forgive them for their mistakes,you need to forgive yourself too.More than anything else,it will give you that much needed kick-start.

Many people misconstrue that forgiveness would make one more callous and immoral.Quite the contrary! Guilt serves zilch and the more guilty one feels the more self-hating and that only wastes energy and does nothing to improve what needs to be improved.We are human,and hence,mistake making and fallible.So its only natural and human to err.The less forgiving you are of yourself the more you try and be superhuman a condition which is impossible and unfulfillable.Forgiving oneself doesn’t mean shedding off responsibility for your actions,it only means,giving yourself the right to be wrong,giving yourself the chance to be imperfect! When you forgive yourself,you give yourself a chance to correct,evolve and grow as a person.When you forgive others you do yourself a favor and are not enveloped by feelings of hatred and revenge.To err is human and not forgiving isn’t divine,it simply leaves you saner and more realistic!

Love Yourself

Be solemn if your topic is serious. Present the desired image to your audience. Appear relaxed, even if you feel nervous. Establish rapport with your audience. If a microphone is available, adjust and adapt your voice accordingly.

Master the use of presentation software such as PowerPoint well before your presentation. Persuade your audience effectively. Speak loudly and clearly. Sound confident. Maintain sincere eye contact with your audience. If what you have prepared is obviously not getting across to your audience, change your strategy mid-stream if you are well prepared to do so. Allow yourself and your audience a little time to reflect and think. Keep audience interested throughout your entire presentation. Remember that an interesting speech makes time fly, but a boring speech is always too long to endure even if the presentation time is the same.

Check out the location ahead of time to ensure seating arrangements for audience, whiteboard, blackboard, lighting, location of projection screen, sound system, etc. are suitable for your presentation.

Tell audience ahead of time that you will be giving out an outline of your presentation so that they will not waste time taking unnecessary notes during your presentation.

Here are just a few hints, public speaking tips and techniques to help you develop your skills and become far more effective as a public speaker.

• Mistakes

  Mistakes are all right.

  Recovering from mistakes makes you appear more human.

  Good recovery puts your audience at ease – they identify with you more.

• How to use the public speaking environment

  Try not to get stuck in one place.

  Use all the space that’s available to you.

  Move around.

  One way to do this is to leave your notes in one place and move to another.

  If your space is confined (say a meeting room or even presenting at a table) use stronger body language to convey your message.

• Tell stories

  Stories make you a real person not just a deliverer of information.

  Use personal experiences to bring your material to life.

  No matter how dry your material is, you can always find a way to humanise it.

• Technology

  Speak to your audience not your slides.

  Your slides are there to support you not the other way around.

  Ideally, slides should be graphics and not words (people read faster than they hear and will be impatient for you to get to the next point).

  If all the technology on offer fails, it’s still you they’ve come to hear.

• Humour

  Tell jokes if you’re good at telling jokes.

  If you aren’t good, best to leave the jokes behind.

  There’s nothing worse than a punch line that has no punch.

  Gentle humour is good in place of jokes.

  Self-deprecation is good, but try not to lay it on too thick.

You can learn to enjoy public speaking and become far more effective at standing in front of a group of people and delivering a potent message.

And remember to keep practicing!

Power of positive thinking

Admit it we live in a hostile world where all of us have a constant need to be accepted,loved and admired.Our fears,dislikes and outbursts are mostly mere manifestations of our negative thoughts.When you give out negative thoughts,youre most likely to attract more negativity in your life.

People often underestimate the power of positive thinking.We think how can I affect the outcome of my actions by just thinking in a particular way But have you ever thought about the fact that there isnt a single moment when you arent thinking and that every thing that happens,begins with a thought.

One positive thought can change your attitude towards a task,which in turn changes the outcome.Experts say that if you want to live longer,be happy,healthy and successful,thinking positive plays a big role.Easier said than done,heres how you can start…

Recognise negative thoughts as they arise and bury them before they take root.Dont let your emotions take the better of you.Imagine how youd look back at the situation the next day.

Hang out with people who think positive.When you surround yourself with people who are a delight to be around,you will start behaving like them,too.While negative thoughts attract negativity,positive people are very likely to attract positive thoughts.

Eat right and exercise regularly.When you look good on the outside,its easier to feel good on the inside.
Live in the present.Most of our negativity stems from past regrets or future fears I wish Id acted differently or I wish this doesnt go wrong. However,the present is the only time we have and living in it will make you happier.
De-clutter your home.And your life.Surround yourself with things that you love and things that make you feel good.Photographs of loved ones,plants,flowers,art,puzzles or anything that has value for you will make you think happy thoughts.

Be happy with what you are and what you have.Dont try to be some one you arent.If youre not satisfied with the person you are,identify what you dont like and change that aspect of yourself.Concentrate on what you have and not what you lack.

Have a goal in mind that you would like to pursue.Keep yourself busy in planning it out.It can be anything from wanting to go skydiving to winning a competition or pursuing a hobby.While not everybody may believe completely in the power of positive thinking,follow these simple tips and notice the impact it has on your life!

However,while the experience lasts,how do you hold yourself together.Intense,stressful situations test your true grit and strength of character.And that of those close to you the best and closest of relationships have been known to give away under stress.For,we change under pressure and our actions,body language and decisions are all different from what they are in normal times.Even the coolest of people seem to lose their ability to stay calm when faced with the slightest challenge to the smooth running of their lives.

The seemingly happygo-lucky Modi,who was matching steps with Bollywood stars just a few days ago,is tense and seems on the verge of a breakdown.Quite natural.We can all empathise with them since we have all been in that boat,in varying degrees,sometime or the other.And here,for Modi,his entire life,career and reputation built painstakingly over several years,seem to be collapsing around their ears like a pack of cards! How can one not be affected The challenge however would be to retain your demeanour and cool particularly when under the most pressure.Experience proves that stress can have an acute negative impact on health.Increased weight,high blood pressure,heart problems,migraines,mood swings,irritability,and insomnia you name it and stress gives it! Did you know that when stressed out,you not just tend to overeat but also eat all the wrong stuff And that stress can be so overpowering that a study shows men even change their definition of which woman they find attractive when under acute stress they end up choosing the wrong woman!

Wouldnt it be nice if,secure in the knowledge that even the worst of times cannot last forever and knowing the ill-effects of tension,we could distance ourselves from a stressful situation and watch life like a bystander Difficult to imagine,but not impossible.

If like a yogi,you could but detach yourself from life and watch yourself from a distance you would be able to escape the resultant forces that shape your life.Though at the epicenter of the activity,you would be able to rise above and stay unmoved and unfazed.Sounds improbable Try it.With every impossible situation,when we are under deep stress,there comes a moment when we finally give in and go with the flow.The moment when we realise that no amount of struggle or effort is going to help us and its better to give in and conserve energy.And at that point,you find yourself enter an area of stillness.The chatter is cut out and a quiet delight is born.And that is the point at which you start living a carefree life

We can give explanations,but explanations need not be answers.You are looking at death as the opposite of life.So,our encounter with death is conditioned by our definition of death as being opposed to life.Look at it another way: Death is one more expression of life.Life scientists declare that death is the most critical defining feature of life.All and only living things die.When you die,you are making the ultimate undeniable assertion that you have been alive.The most comfortable place for you is to be in your mothers womb.After birth,many times you search for that same comfort.That is why in Hindu temples,the sanctum sanctorum is called garbhagudi representing a mothers womb.At the time of delivery,the body of the mother pushes the child out.When it is pushed out,every child goes through what is called birth trauma,experiencing a form of death.
Tagore asks,Is it death or is it life What do we experience Birth,exit from the womb where life originated and was sustained for about nine months and into the world outside is a form of death that leads to life although in different environments.Similarly,death exit from the world could be a door to some other form of life or life at yet another plane.

Dont we cast off worn-out clothes in order to wear new ones Why get so attached to physical phenomena During the great dotcom bust of the post-millennium years,a lot of people went through depression all over the world.What really happened.Nothing more than the fact that what had been hyped skyhigh was brought down to earth.

The same thing had happened in Bangalore real estate.It happens cyclically in stock markets across the globe.You build the bubble and,when the bubble breaks,you feel depressed.Those who know that the rise is artificial make all the profit while gullible believers in the longevity of the bubble lose everything.
The value we attach to objects of speculation like stocks,shares,land and commodities is purely psychological;they are illusory or insubstantial.Likewise,all sorrows are chiefly created by the mind.You invest 10 million rupees on a piece of land expecting to make a profit of 10 million,but the profit is only notional in the sense that it is based on your expectation that the value of your purchase will double within the time frame of your expectation.If your expectations are defeated,you start suffering.Its all in your mind,isnt it Therefore,the trauma that you feel at events like accident or death is also mainly psychological,and so death is something you can overcome through spiritual discipline.

Excerpt from: Enhancing Life: The Art of Inner Awakening.

We might have missed the deeper meaning of Valentines Day by singling out romantic love as the focus of this days ultimate meaning. Love is multifaceted. It is more than emotion. Love is a force that can motivate, create, heal and transform the lives of anyone it touches . Many of us have forgotten that this day was created to recognize a saint.

Over time, Valentines Day has become blended with two other ancient Roman holidays Lupercalis and Juno both associated with romance. However, Saint Valentines life exemplifies a broader definition of love. The Roman Catholic Church recognizes eight different saints named Valentine but the most famous one lived in Rome during the reign of Claudius II, around the year 270 AD.

Legend has it that Claudius II outlawed marriage as a way to encourage men to join his army. Valentine refused to obey this law and was arrested for secretly performing weddings for young couples . While in prison, Valentines kindness and positive attitude helped convert the jailer and his wife to Christianity.
According to the legend, Valentine also befriended the jailers blind daughter, often writing her notes of encouragement and praying for her. Word of Valentines kindness and compassion reached Claudius II. He offered to release Valentine if the priest would renounce his religion and worship the Roman gods. Valentine not only refused, but he tried to convert Claudius II to Christianity . Claudius II rejected this attempt and condemned Valentine to death.

As the legend goes, Valentines prayers were answered, and the jailers daughter was healed. On the eve of his execution, Valentine wrote a note assuring this young girl that she was not responsible for his death. He signed the note from your Valentine .

As we can see, Valentines story represents many aspects of love. It was his love for God and his commitment to his values that caused him to disobey the law. His respect for romantic love is also included in his disobedience. His positive and loving attitude, even in the midst of crisis, affected the views of others including the jailer and Claudius himself. He demonstrated love for humanity through his kindness to the jailers blind daughter.

The following are ways to broaden our celebration of Saint Valentines Day: being your own valentine; sharing meaningful and heartfelt appreciation to all the important people in your life, not just your lover; practicing random acts of kindness to strangers; and recommitting to your own spiritual values.
However, the most important way to put the power back into this day of love is to learn to use the force of love to transform your life. Love can be consciously directed to bring peace and harmony into your world.
In our minds eye, envision a world filled with love and light, see people responding to you with kindness and respect as you do the same with them.

Join this image with the feelings of joy as you release the force of love into your life.
This process may seem simplistic , but love works. I have taught this technique to people for over twenty years. The reports have been fantastic. People have healed relationships that have been damaged for years. Parents have seen dramatic improvements in the behaviour of their children. Workers have witnessed profound changes in conflicts on the job. The only way you will know if it works is to try it. Do the exercise for two weeks and see if your life is not improved.

You might want to pick a particular person or situation with which to experiment. You will not be disappointed.
Make a commitment to forget the fluff and get down to the real stuff. Celebrate the power of love on Saint Valentines Day. You will be glad you did.