Love Yourself

One of the most important relationships of all is the one you share with yourself.Unfortunately,most of us allow our perception of our own strengths and capabilities to be determined by those around us family,friends and colleagues.Their opinion is what we begin to believe as the truth despite the fact that we know exactly what heights we are capable of touching.And,as most of you in this kind of a situation will agree,it can often leave one with a sense of worthlessness as no matter what you do,you just never seem to meet anyone’s expectations.

Love yourself

Most people opine that if you love yourself,you are a vain person.This,however,is far from the truth.In reality,its more important for a person to love themselves,even before loving someone else.Its only when one is comfortable with themselves and who they are that you will be able to accept the other person for who they are and love them wholly,not because they conform to your needs or wants.

The importance of loving yourself is very significant because it helps one survive.When you love yourself,you take pride in yourself as an individual and attempt to do your best in your chosen field of endeavor.Positive self love can be highly motivating and encourage an individual to achieve what they believe they can/should.Self love also propagates love towards others because only when you are happy with yourself will you do things,not only for you but for others too.Loving others is but an extension of loving yourself.A mother who is not happy being a mother can never love her baby.Similarly,if you don’t love yourself and you don’t consider yourself worthy of love from others,you will be unable to spread your love to others.If we keep living by others opinions and expectations,we are doing great injustice to ourselves.Each human was designed to be an individual and though society tries its utmost to tame our impulses,our individuality shines in some way or the other.Hence,those who accept their individuality and uniqueness are on a path of happiness while those who suppress it remain unhappy and miserable because they don’t see a meaning to their lives.However,if loving oneself is carried to the extreme of narcissistic love,where it is only love yourself and give a damn about others,then the process of self harm starts.This leads to alienation and separation from others which leads to isolation and unhappiness.

Believe in yourself

Though everyone may have their own opinion,remember that you and only you are the true judge of your capabilities.Each of us know our s t re t ch i n g point and our breaking point,and most often its much more that others will tell you.So no matter what happens,and how many times you fail,its only your belief in yourself that will give you the strength to get up,move on and cross that finishing line.

Ones motivation to achieve big things come mainly from believing in yourself and in your capability to do so.Apart from that,you also need to believe in your talents,values and the purpose of your task.Sometimes,the things people say may cause you to doubt yourself.But instead of losing faith and getting disheartened,its better to look at the comments as constructive criticism.It is very important to nurture the ability to convert bad feedback into constructive criticism.At times,the quick pace at which your peers may achieve success can also be a de-motivator.However,it is important to remember that each person works at their own pace and that,just because you are slower,doesn’t mean what you’re doing is less good or less powerful that the other person.

Forgive yourself

To err is human,to forgive divine.Remember,this adage is as applicable to yourself as it is to the other people around you.Its very easy to chastise yourself for mistakes made but you are just as human and prone to mistakes are your friends and close ones.Hence,just like you’d forgive them for their mistakes,you need to forgive yourself too.More than anything else,it will give you that much needed kick-start.

Many people misconstrue that forgiveness would make one more callous and immoral.Quite the contrary! Guilt serves zilch and the more guilty one feels the more self-hating and that only wastes energy and does nothing to improve what needs to be improved.We are human,and hence,mistake making and fallible.So its only natural and human to err.The less forgiving you are of yourself the more you try and be superhuman a condition which is impossible and unfulfillable.Forgiving oneself doesn’t mean shedding off responsibility for your actions,it only means,giving yourself the right to be wrong,giving yourself the chance to be imperfect! When you forgive yourself,you give yourself a chance to correct,evolve and grow as a person.When you forgive others you do yourself a favor and are not enveloped by feelings of hatred and revenge.To err is human and not forgiving isn’t divine,it simply leaves you saner and more realistic!

Love Yourself

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken,
Twisted by knaves to make at trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build’em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings,
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you,
Except the Will which says to them: “HOLD ON”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue;
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute,
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is so much pressure on people to conform. Pressure to be something you are not. Pressure to fit in. So much for originality!

What is up with that?! Be yourself. Be grateful that you are different. Express your uniqueness. Celebrate diversity!

“Focusing on what we already have and are grateful for right now is one of the most powerful things we can do to alter our life in a positive way.”

- Mike Robbins

So powerful, yet so simple! If you focus on something good, you align yourself with it. if you focus on something not so good, you align yourself with it.

Just a matter of choice!

Happiness

• Count your blessings and appreciate what you have. People who actively focus on what is going right in their lives become happier people. The more you think this way, the more your brain will lay down new nerve paths, and the more reflexive and second nature this happy feeling will become.

• Practice optimism. Optimistic thoughts are often self-fulfilling. Expect positive outcomes. Always try to see the best in people, situations, and circumstances. Focus on your own life and making it everything you want it to be. People who live life without making comparisons are happier. If you are happy and fulfilled with what you are doing, it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing or what anyone else thinks.

• Surround yourself with loving, supportive, positive friends and family. Social interactions change the very chemistry within your body. People with strong, supportive social networks live healthier, happier, longer lives.

• Learn to manage stress. Chronic stress increases the risk of heart disease, stroke, high blood pressure, obesity, and depression, so managing stress is crucial to your health and happiness.

• Live in the present. Enjoy the moment. Savor the little things along the way. Your brain loves to play—let it!

• Strive to be part of something larger than yourself. Work toward something in which you find significant meaning. Studies show that employees who feel their jobs are meaningful on a deeper level are happier.

• Volunteer. Helping others increases happiness. People are happier giving than receiving. There are so many areas in which you can make a difference.

• Learn to accept what you can’t change. If you can accept that there are things in life that aren’t always ideal but that life can be good anyway, you’ve taken a giant step closer to happiness.

• Work exercise into your daily routine. When you exercise, you change the chemistry in your brain, but, more importantly, you ultimately change the very structure of your brain.

So what happens when you lose Besides the fact that winning and losing are relative terms, it is really not so bad to lose once in a while. Sometimes, by losing, you could gain more, particularly when you live in a society where you are in constant touch with other people and are exposed to various situations. It is the one who loses, so to say, who actually keeps rolling . This is not to glorify losing, but to turn the focus to a balanced development rather than glorify the obsession to win always.

Shiva and Parvati were playing dice. Each time Shiva rolled the dice, Parvatis supporters squealed with joy while Shivas companions cried in anguish. Parvati won and Shiva lost. Once Shiva lost even the last piece of cloth he wore, to Parvati. Why do you always lose asked the supporters of Shiva. They had implicit faith in his supremacy. Then how come he lost each time

Shiva lost to win. It takes some reflection for this to sink in. In the beginning, all was one, the undifferentiated, motionless One. When it separated into two, the Purusha and the Prakriti, there was Creation, there was activity. According to mythology, Narada, the celestial bard came to the Ardhanareeswara the androgynous two-in-one form of Shiva and Parvati and said he would teach an interesting game that would end the inertia and add spice to their life.

He taught them the game of dice. When Shiva plays with Parvati it is the play of Purusha with Prakriti, inactivity with activity. The wager was a hug. If Shiva won, he would embrace Parvati. Beautiful as that sounds, people were worried because once again then Shiva would envelop Parvati in himself and return to the motionless inactive state of Ardhanareeswara . This would mean all activity would come to a standstill; it would be the end of the world. So it was crucial for Parvati to win, and for Shiva to lose so that activity continues without a break. In Parvatis victory, the pursuit of pleasure would continue Shiva would play another game and yet another to win and embrace . But in losing the game, he won the game of life, he preserved Creation . And Parvati would win again and so the cycle continues. Shivas followers however could only feel humiliation at defeat. They cried and entreated Shiva to work harder while Parvatis entourage laughed. But the game continues, of winning and losing of Creation, Destruction.

To keep activity going, to maintain harmony and balance, we have to experience both, winning and losing. This way, the cosmic play ensures that the cycle goes on. At a mundane level, the see-saw effect creates opportunities for all. When success and failure are experiences in turn, it helps us cultivate several perspectives, to lose gracefully as well as embrace achievements with deep humility.

This is the secret of happy togetherness . In the androgynous form, too, there was togetherness, but of a static kind. There seemed no purpose, no outcome. When they split to become two distinct entities, they could let their creations flourish. And yet they stayed together enjoying the game they played. That is togetherness; where otherness enhances the togetherness.

Are you working on a project or something that seems like it is impossible? Feel like giving up? If so, just hang in there! Remember that the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is just a little ‘extra’. Keep at it! You will see results soon. You will certainly feel grateful for hanging in there.

Crisis is painful, frightening , and difficult. None of us consciously invite crisis into our lives. We do not look forward to the next life threatening event to come our way. We have never received an invitation to celebrate a crisis in the life of one of our friends. The news of a crisis brings feelings of sadness, fear, and regret. No one wants to face death, financial ruin, loss of a job, or a divorce. We do not wish these events on others. So, how is it that I can tell you, who are in crisis, that your situation is the adventure of a lifetime.

I have had the opportunity to walk side by side with many people as they charted the troubled waters of crisis. As a therapist, I have been privileged to hear the secret descriptions of pain and despair felt by my clients. As a medical social worker, I have observed the suffering a family experiences when they learn the fate of a terminally ill loved one. I have held a child in my arms for an hour, as she grieved the death of her mother.
I saw the expressions of hopelessness as the survivors of Hurricane Andrew surveyed the destruction of their homes. As a person , I have felt my own grieve and fear as I faced the crisis of death and illness in my family.
If this was all I had seen in these difficult situations, I could not call crisis an adventure; however , I have been blessed to see another side of trauma. Out of the ashes of despair, I have observed the power of love heal the wounds of a troubled family. I have seen the news of death bring people together in a closeness they never dreamed possible.

After the devastation of Hurricane Andrew, I watched as neighbours dropped racial barriers to help one another rebuild. I have seen clients reach down deep inside themselves to find a superhuman strength to overcome a physical disability. As a spiritual teacher, I have seen despair turn people toward the power of God within them. I have watched seemingly helpless people become spiritual giants as they exercised the power of prayer to overcome an impossible situation.

Crisis is a two-edged sword. It brings the destruction of life as we have known it. It threatens our status quo, creating chaos where there was once stability. It challenges our beliefs and response patterns. It pushes our ability to cope. But crisis always brings opportunity for something new to develop from the ruins of our old way of life. Its pain is like the contractions of labour; almost too much to bear, yet easily forgotten with the joy of a new birth.

Crisis offers many hidden benefits to those who accept the challenge to transform in the face of disaster. It gives you the opportunity to shift directions and make important changes in your life. As people re-evaluate the meaning of life during their crisis , they often discover their life mission, giving them a greater sense of direction and purpose.

Sometimes people in crisis will find an inner strength they never knew existed. Some people learn to tap into their inner guidance for day to day direction. Others find they are given the opportunity to re-evaluate core beliefs that had negatively affected their experiences of life.

Crisis invites you to experience and release old fears. In the face of death or annihilation, people have the opportunity to consciously choose life, often for the very first time. Most people find a deeper connection to God or the creative force of the universe. Many people develop a profound sense of trust, knowing there is someone or something larger than themselves that is watching over them.

Crisis is an opportunity, not a certainty. You can choose to take advantage of the energy in crisis or you can surrender to the feelings of despair and hopelessness. The adventure begins when you choose to accept the challenge and use the circumstances in your life to grow. This painful, sometimes devastating situation is only a stepping stone to something far greater.

I have heard about people who have accepted the challenge, transforming their lives in the midst of crisis. These people are not special. They are ordinary human beings just like you. If they can transform in the face of crisis, so can you.

An excellent article I went through and thought to share, the writer is a Miami-based spiritual teacher, Marty Varnadoe Dow.

The psychic body has several layers crude psychic, subtle psychic , supra-psychic and so many layers. But in the spiritual realm there cannot be any body. It is the witnessing factor, attached to the body. Whatever the physical body is doing, your spirit, that is, the cognitive faculty, remains attached to it, and knows and sees and witnesses what it is doing.

Similarly, your spirit is the witnessing factor of your psychic bodies, of what your mind is doing. When this witnessing faculty remains attached to a particular individual, we call it jivatma, or unit spirit. When it knows everything, anything, and everything of this universe, it is the Supreme Cognition . When the spirit knows only what a little boy is doing, then it is called jivatma or “unit cognitive faculty” and when that very Entity knows everything of this universe, it is the Cosmic or Supreme Cognitive faculty.

The Supreme Cognitive Faculty is Parama Purusa. He is Parama Pita, and the unit cognitive faculty is the jivatma. Here lies the difference between the Cosmic and the unit. The unit knows what the unit mind and unit body are doing. Nothing is a secret.

What is spiritual practice It is just the conversion of the unit objectivity into cosmic objectivity. When something is done, there are two main entities, the object and the subject. There is also the link between subject and object. The seen is the object, the seer is the subject, and then there is the action of seeing that links the subject with the object. There are three entities. Now where the object is limited, restricted and small, then the subject is the jiva, that is, the unit consciousness. This is an ordinary being. When the object becomes infinite, is converted into the Infinite , then the subject becomes cosmic . The subject no longer remains something limited, something unit. When you want to get peace, what should you do You convert your small objectivity into infinite objectivity; and that is the only way to get peace. There is no alternative.

Simply preaching the gospels of peace would not give you peace. You are to convert yourself from small to big. There is no alternative . Spiritual, or occult practice is a practice of increasing ones own psychic radius. When you increase your radius, it becomes bigger and bigger and the range of mind is bigger. When by increasing in this way, the radius becomes infinite, you become one with the Supreme. You become one with Parama Purusa. Each and every spiritual aspirant should know it and be infinite.

Think about it: We live in a world of division. We live in a world where “twoness” prevails; a world of duality where every position, situation and condition is challenged by some alternative where one side is always pulling against another or pushing up against a wall that will not yield. This is living in a world that is perfectly designed to promote struggle, turmoil, conflict, confusion, disputes and disagreements. This law of opposites is the cause of all problems. Without knowing how to control or overcome this law of opposites, people try to adapt to it without realizing that by so doing they only succeed in increasing their frustrations and prolonging any solution. Is it any wonder that so many people are suffering such pressures, stresses and anxieties!

If these people could somehow prevent this law from operating in their individual experiences they could enjoy living in a world where oneness prevailed and those things we call problems would have no influence over them. This might be best illustrated by using such familiar opposites as positive and negative. Positives and negatives are opposites and have nothing in common. They cannot mix or commingle. Neither can one be described in term of the other. Try as you might, you cannot successfully justify one to the other. They are opposites. It is the law!

A problem is defined by Webster as “an intricate, unsettled question without an answer; a source of perplexity and vexation”. By their very nature, problems are negative. Webster defines “negative’ as “something that is the opposite, or negation, of something”. That “something” is the positiveness of the problem’s solution. Webster’s definition of “positive” is “that which is real, not speculative, not fictitious and logically affirmative; that which has actual existence”. Just as a negative has absolutely no positive characteristics, so a positive has absolutely no negative characteristics. They are opposites. It is the law! And because it is an absolute, universal law it is not subject to chance, change, modification, circumvention or debate. It maintains its own integrity, is self- enforcing and works simply because it exists…forever! When properly applied it is your absolute assurance of successful conclusions.

The problem is negative and unreal. The objective is positive and real. Logic, then, demands that in order to experience your goal or objective or receive the answer to your question, you must discipline yourself to maintain a mind-set that is responsive to the positive ideas that will dissolve your negative problems.

This is probably the most demanding discipline you will ever be faced with because we’ve been trained to accept both positives and negatives as real. From this premise, we attempt to solve a problem by confronting it as an adversary with which we are compelled to do battle. We try to “understand” it and “deal” with it as though it were a reality instead of simply being a negation of that which we are seeking.

Does all this sound too abstract to be practical in what we call the “real” world of nuts and bolts? While individual circumstances will vary, the procedural application of this law is always the same. Consider this case study: Static sale plagued a company and great effort and money was invested to find some means by which they could increase the sales volume of their product. Their best efforts failed and they resigned themselves to the conviction that the market was flooded to the point of saturation and nothing further could be done. They were prepared to “eat their losses” and move on.

Then the principles embodied in this discovery were initiated by one individual who, in the secrecy of his own thought, maintained the integrity of this positive, constructive, solution oriented approach. He mentally rejected all discussions that focused on the “problem” even though circumstances required that he be involved in them. Soon he developed a plan. Every detail of a brand new merchandising procedure unfolded that was a radical departure from all traditional methods. The plan was implemented and sales increased immediately to a level that far exceeded the company’s most optimistic projections. As an added bonus, the implementation of this plan did not require any additional capital expenditures.

This confirms Victor Hugo’s statement that, “there is nothing more powerful than the right idea whose time has come”. The sales “problem” simply disappeared. Why? Because, being an unreal negation, it never did have the substance or reality of its positive opposite. Where did the problem go? It went to the same place the flat world went as soon as Columbus discovered that it was really round. It didn’t “go” anywhere because it wasn’t a real “something” to begin with!