Happy responses to lifes travails are confounding. Is this a mindset that has decided to quietly accept what life has to offer as ones destiny or a smiling dare you to challenging circumstances Surely it is the latter. In each one of us is the innate desire to connect to our circumstances, share moments from our life with another and brave it out. That is the inner core from where each one of us draws energy to live life through hard times.

A smile reflects whats inside us and communicates our desire to experience connectedness with another.
Smiling at another is a fleeting moment, but sublime nevertheless. Contentment is a natural outcome of engaging in such moments. Leading a meager existence is not very appealing. Despite that, with few resources to indulge in materialistic extravagances, there is a simple understanding among these people on the endless bounty of connecting to others and finding contentment.

At the other extreme, the modern world is all set on a great march to fulfill an ever-demanding cycle of needs. Rushing past our fellow travelers, there is forgetfulness in our behavior, little attempt to connect, fear of looking in the eye and displaying feelings. But the deep reservoir of emotions within us is waiting to connect. It is in anguish at not being able to express. And in anguish, there is little scope for contentment. Contentment becomes most elusive, and ironically becomes a never-ending search for all of us. In this elusive search, several paths are explored in the hope to somersault into a life of deep contentment . Whether or not one makes it to that point of bliss becomes inconsequential if it means sidestepping connectedness with fellow beings. For even if the need to connect for the exalted soul becomes less important , there are many who crave for a connection with another being as a means to walking the path of contentment.

It is said that all beings are one, but that they manifest in different forms, and scientific studies have proven that life forms of all kinds respond to warmth and make an effort to connect. It must be this fundamental connectedness that beckons me to the warm smile of a total stranger in a remote tribal hamlet. The lighting up of a face with an exuberant smile, the brushing aside of the daily tirades of life and taking the circumstances as a given is nothing but the opening up of our souls to the many opportunities of exulting in this moment of existence. Then why the search Connecting with a smile is perhaps a way to finding ourselves in a state of contentment.

It is important to understand what is happening on a physiological level when you are feeling stressed.When you are feeling stressed your brain perceives a threat and the fight or flight response is triggered. In a potentially threatening situation this response is invaluable and may save your life or the life of another. However, living in this state of heightened arousal (which short or long-term stressful events can generate) is not good for you and your body may begin to signal this to you in a variety of ways.

Physical

Physical symptoms experienced include:
✦ a pounding heart
✦ elevated blood pressure
✦ sweaty palms
✦ tightness of chest
✦ aching neck, jaw and back muscles
✦ headache
✦ chest pains
✦ abdominal cramps
✦ nausea
✦ trembling
✦ sleep disturbance
✦ tiredness
✦ susceptibility to minor illness
✦ itching
✦ easily startled
✦ forgetfulness.

Thoughts

You may experience:
✦ your mind racing or going blank
✦ not being able to ‘switch off ’
✦ a lack of attention to detail
✦ your self esteem and confidence plummeting
✦ disorganised thoughts
✦ a diminished sense of meaning in life
✦ a lack of control or the need for too much control
✦ negative self statements and negative evaluation
✦ difficulty in making decisions
✦ a loss of perspective.
You may be:
✦ making ‘mountains out of molehills’
✦ driving yourself too hard with ‘I must do this, ought to do that, should do the other’ or demanding too much of others as well as yourself.

Behaviors

You may:
✦ become withdrawn and not want to socialise
✦ increase your alcohol, nicotine or drugs intake
✦ under eat or over eat
✦ become accident prone and careless
✦ become impatient, aggressive or compulsive – pacing, fidgeting, swearing, blaming, throwing and hitting!
✦ work longer hours – not take breaks, take work home, procrastinate with important projects, take the ‘headless chicken’ approach when under pressure, and manage time poorly
✦ no longer have time for leisure activities.

Feelings

You may feel:
✦ irritable
✦ angry
✦ depressed
✦ jealous
✦ restless
✦ anxious
✦ unreal or hyper alert
✦ unnecessarily guilty.
You may experience:
✦ panic
✦ mood swings, crying easily.

Thank goodness you won’t experience all of these symptoms all of the time! Individual responses to stress vary, so you may experience some of these some of the time.This will be your body’s way of saying that you are overdoing things and it is time to reflect and take action in order to reduce and manage the stress response.

Run
Put on your running shoes, and just take off! The term ‘runner’s high’ couldn’t be more apt. Don’t expect anything, if you plan on running just for a few minutes – yo need to for at least 30 minutes before you start feeling good. You may feel incredibly tired during the first 15 minutes, but hang on in there, and soon enough you will feel the difference. This natural high occurs because of the endorphins that are released during such an intense form of exercise.

Laugh
Whoever said that laughter is the best medicine, couldn’t be more accurate. Notice how you feel when you’ve had a really good laugh till your jaw hurts or when you have tears rolling down your eyes. This feeling of goodness will give you a high like anything else. Discuss a funny incident with friends, or watch a really movie or a television series. the more you laugh, the more endorphins will be released in your system.

Listen to music
Listen to some instrumental music. Not only will this calm you down and help you relieve stress, but also bring about a sense of happiness. Even listening to your favorite songs can have a similar effect. Make a separate file of songs that make you smile, and call it your ‘happy song’ folder. Listening to it when you are down will cheer you up.

Meditate
the benefits of meditation are numerous. A few minutes of meditation takes you to a calm, relaxed state, which in turn gives you a natural high. You could meditate at home or even join a class. There are different techniques for meditation. The internet has loads of information that will be of great help. Meditate to lower your heart rate and keep your blood pressure in check.

This is yet another wave of evidence indicating that rest, not work, is the basis for success. Unfortunately, the world’s population is brainwashed into thinking workaholism is the answer and minimizes or truncates quality rest. That is something I cannot fathom. It is so abundantly obvious to me that denying rest for your mind and body makes your thinking dull and your activity ineffective. Hopefully some day the world will realize that it is not how long and hard you work but how deeply you rest that determines success.

To this end, let me take it one giant step further. I have found that any hour of sleep between 10PM and midnight is worth two hours of sleep after midnight. If I can get to bed (with lights out and eyes closed) before 10PM, my “luck” improves dramatically the next day. Nature  supports those who are  rested, clear, alert and energetic. Hitting the hay by 10PM gets you the most beneficial sleep and with it Nature’s blessings.

Just feeling low

Power-cuts or salary cuts, there are many occasions for us to feel down in the dumps. It’s part of day-to-day life. But usually, these feelings don’t last for too long. Below are some of the symptoms of ordinary mood swings:

-  Avoiding communication and being quieter than usual.

- Avoiding participation in leisure activities or hobbies.

- Being alone and attempting to listen to music or reading.

- Being irritable to all those curious about your behaviour.

Note that all these symptoms do not last for long. Watching a flurry of sixes by Yuvraj Singh or just bumping into an old friend is all it takes for your spirits to rise to normal.

Danger Signs

So, when do you know you are a victim of clinical depression? Check if you show any of these symptoms:

- Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions.

- Decreased energy, fatigue

- Loss of intrest in activities that wer once enjoyed

- Feelings of guilt, hopelesness and pessimism

- Insomnia, early monring awakening or oversleeping

- Loss of appetite and weight; overeating and weight gain

- Suicidal thoughts

- Physical symptoms that don’t respond to treatements, such as headaches.

In such conditions all you have to do is help yourself:

- Wake up early in the monring and practise meditation and yoga.

- Pen down your felings in a diary.

- Avoid clutter in your house, it adds to depression

- Avoid monotony, take regular breaks.

- Jog or walk regularly

- Long baths and fresh cloths add to your confidence

If you recognise yourself as a victim of depression, destressing alone would not help you. You must let go of the stigma and seek help. Depression can be successfully treated with medication, or professional counselling.