Are you looser? Good for you

The premium is on winning . Whatever you do, you have to win, whether it is learning to sing, dance or just play. We live in fear of losing . We fear it so much that often, we hear this being said to someone : You’re such a loser!

So what happens when you lose Besides the fact that winning and losing are relative terms, it is really not so bad to lose once in a while. Sometimes, by losing, you could gain more, particularly when you live in a society where you are in constant touch with other people and are exposed to various situations. It is the one who loses, so to say, who actually keeps rolling . This is not to glorify losing, but to turn the focus to a balanced development rather than glorify the obsession to win always.

Shiva and Parvati were playing dice. Each time Shiva rolled the dice, Parvatis supporters squealed with joy while Shivas companions cried in anguish. Parvati won and Shiva lost. Once Shiva lost even the last piece of cloth he wore, to Parvati. Why do you always lose asked the supporters of Shiva. They had implicit faith in his supremacy. Then how come he lost each time

Shiva lost to win. It takes some reflection for this to sink in. In the beginning, all was one, the undifferentiated, motionless One. When it separated into two, the Purusha and the Prakriti, there was Creation, there was activity. According to mythology, Narada, the celestial bard came to the Ardhanareeswara the androgynous two-in-one form of Shiva and Parvati and said he would teach an interesting game that would end the inertia and add spice to their life.

He taught them the game of dice. When Shiva plays with Parvati it is the play of Purusha with Prakriti, inactivity with activity. The wager was a hug. If Shiva won, he would embrace Parvati. Beautiful as that sounds, people were worried because once again then Shiva would envelop Parvati in himself and return to the motionless inactive state of Ardhanareeswara . This would mean all activity would come to a standstill; it would be the end of the world. So it was crucial for Parvati to win, and for Shiva to lose so that activity continues without a break. In Parvatis victory, the pursuit of pleasure would continue Shiva would play another game and yet another to win and embrace . But in losing the game, he won the game of life, he preserved Creation . And Parvati would win again and so the cycle continues. Shivas followers however could only feel humiliation at defeat. They cried and entreated Shiva to work harder while Parvatis entourage laughed. But the game continues, of winning and losing of Creation, Destruction.

To keep activity going, to maintain harmony and balance, we have to experience both, winning and losing. This way, the cosmic play ensures that the cycle goes on. At a mundane level, the see-saw effect creates opportunities for all. When success and failure are experiences in turn, it helps us cultivate several perspectives, to lose gracefully as well as embrace achievements with deep humility.

This is the secret of happy togetherness . In the androgynous form, too, there was togetherness, but of a static kind. There seemed no purpose, no outcome. When they split to become two distinct entities, they could let their creations flourish. And yet they stayed together enjoying the game they played. That is togetherness; where otherness enhances the togetherness.

Bridging generation gap at work

THE WAY OUT

Bridging the generation gap is important to ensure a smooth functioning of the team. Listed below are a few pointers that might help in ironing the creases:

Be accommodative:

To begin with, do not typecast an individual, and do not let ego govern you, Its important to be accommodative . Neither of the groups are evil, nor is anyone at work to please the other. Its important to look at each other as colleagues and try to be accommodative of new ideas and work in sync with each other. At times HR initiatives like team building activities or a weekend outings also help break the ice.

Talk-it-out :

Effective communication helps resolve most differences. Whenever you are in a conflicting situation, its best to talk it out. Each generation comes with its own distinct attitude. Thus learning to communicate keeping in mind this distinction is half the battle won. Understand the need of the hour and arrive at a judicious conclusion ; it has to be a conclusion that will help accomplish the task effectively and not one that will massage your ego further.

Learning curve:

Each one has some inherent strengths and weaknesses and it is wise to benefit from each others strengths, If the lessons of experience can help solve a problem, why not adopt it. Or on the other hand, if there is a young professional who can tackle business much more effectively, why not appreciate it

Respect:

Respecting the people you work with helps keep the boat sailing steadily. Do not look down upon seniors as patronising, old-fashioned morons or young professionals as the aggressive lot. As we wind up, learn to see through the negatives and respect their positive qualities.

Love your life

A spate of suicides reported recently makes us wonder: What drives an individual to take his own life The drastic action is perhaps due to intense despair and a feeling of helplessness . The question then arises: What is life and what sustains it No doubt the physical frame is sustained and supported by air, food and water. But at the psychological level it is hope, the perception of self-worth and moral strength that affirm the will to live. All excuses like loneliness, loss of wealth, humiliation, shame and guilt that might force the decision to give up on life midstream could be traced to the loss of the will to live.

Hope is the springboard of all activity. A new hour, a new dawn and a new year, all hold out hope. Hope can also spring forth in a manner that is unconnected with us. A good turn of events for someone else can kindle hope in us. However , hope could turn out to be a double-edged sword. Unfulfilled hope can be devastating, as in business , love and competitive situations . Grief might blur ones vision but the flicker of hope helps us navigate the darkness of despair.

In contrast, death is total darkness . One way of handling this is to hope realistically rather than reach for something that is unattainable . There will be less chance, then, of falling so short of the goal that everything seems out of reach and hence, life will not lose all meaning. To act and not be distracted by the fruit of action is a good way to avoid such situations. The Gita advises us to remain detached from fruit of action.

Self-criticism and introspection are useful exercises to appraise ones strengths and weaknesses so that one can understand ones potential. This is not to sit in judgement and find fault. Any assessment of ones worth can only be relative and so is not absolute. Comparisons are odious, wrote a poet. So when we desist from making comparisons, it helps us overcome a great many problems.

Everything in the world is there because it is of some worth. Every person likes to be loved, to receive compassion and kindness. No one would like to be hurt, deceived or offended in any way. So the universal moral code is clear: Do unto others what you would have them do to you. A convicted criminal appeals for mercy or clemency hoping that the very moral code he violated will somehow pull him out of the dire situation he has put himself in. In some cases a one-off moral transgression may make it difficult to justify the continuance of life. Speaking a lie while being aware of the truth and doing wrong intentionally even while knowing what is right could lead to dilemmas that erode selfworth . A fractured mind, like a broken mirror, does not reflect reality . It leads to misconceptions and creates confusion, leading one to jump to conclusions. When one is unable to reconcile contradictions in perception, hasty decisions are made and when translated into action, these can have disastrous, and maybe irreversible consequences. Such as the decision to take ones life.

A unified mind is the key to peace, happiness and fullness. It can help us see the whole picture rather then get trapped in ephemeral details. Not everyone might turn out to be a Beethoven or Stephen Hawking. However, by not getting disheartened by setbacks and by finding ways to overcome difficulties, we can learn to appreciate and enjoy whatever we have instead of calling it quits.