Do you often miss recognising opportunity and end up complaining about some of the best things that happen to you

AN author called his friend to seek advice on a film script being offered to him. His dilemma on whether to accept it or not made him call his friend for some hard talk and frank advice.

His was a strange dilemma, one his friend couldn’t understand initially . Here he was being offered a dream project, so why was he dilly dallying about signing the dotted line! After some probing, his friend understood his hesitation; with his first book, he is well known as a romantic fiction writer. Though happy with his success, he has tried in vain to shrug off the epithet since he is clear he wants to be an opinion maker and write more serious stuff.

The more he kicks against it the more it comes back to him with renewed strength. The more he protests he goes beyond romance writing, the more the press revels in attaching the word to his name like an exalted title. Now the problem with the movie was that it too was what they now popularly call a romcom (romantic comedy) and taking it on would further establish him in the genre he is seeking to sidestep!

As a dispassionate observer, his friend could see he had been established neatly in a genre and was on his way to accruing gains from the positioning. But the man was actively trying to escape his own destiny! How could he be sure he would stand to gain as much in another field What if he kicks close the door opened for him now, never to have another held open again Or at least not one that would lead him to the right places
On the other hand, one could argue, how would he know his potential in the other field till he tried his hand at it And self-help gurus tell us that in life there are no gains without taking risks! Who is to know Should he follow his head or heart?

The problem is that sometimes we end up kicking and protesting against things that are the biggest blessings for us. We do not appreciate their value till it is too late. The other day a bureaucrat friend was protesting under the burden of a new project and the stress of increased interactions on a daily basis with the big bosses. His immediate boss was on leave, with the result all the boss’ work and interactions had fallen to his lot. Whoops! And the man was actually complaining and wilting under the burden. His friend asked him if this wasn’t what he always wanted. Yes, he said, but not “this” way! Come on, you cannot dictate the manner in which you achieve your desire! Here was his golden opportunity to prove his worth, or he should declare himself a failure and never dream again!

Indeed, sometimes opportunity can come knocking on the door and you may ignore it, mistaking it for some unwanted visitor ! But again that doesn’t mean you answer every knock expecting Opportunity to be standing outside.

Quite often later in life we realise that in the middle of some of our most beautiful moments we were busy protesting and looking for something else. Seldom do we stop, look around and bless the present moment. To achieve happiness is to stop pursuing greater glory or pleasures and to focus on simpler things. You should to chase their imagination rather than other people’s jobs!

Another friend who was inordinately worried about her son’s education at every stage, when asked if she was happy now her son had returned after post graduation abroad, said, “I am very worried about his job now!” We are always worrying about the next thing rather than enjoying the present moment ! What about being glad for what we get and have in hand rather than pining for what is beyond reach
Would you say that is a shortsighted view Maybe it is, but maybe true happiness lies in the here and now, rather than in chasing whimsical, effervescent butterflies! If you let your body and mind follow the rhythm of time and allow yourself to flow along with life, your instinctive choices are almost always bound to be the right ones.

Just be sure to take responsibility for your own choices and not turn around to blame the one who helped you with some advice if things don’t turn out as expected. Maybe what you didn’t expect is the happier choice for you who knows

All materialistic cultures are founded on the human craving for more. Materialism and consumerism assume that fulfilling desires and the enjoyment of pleasures are all that is required to make us happy and contented.
In India, Charvakas not only advocate consumerism but also go to the extent of saying that one should enjoy worldly possessions even if one has to beg, borrow or steal. They believe in the maxim: Live as if there is no tomorrow .


According to the Charvakas, while life remains, we should live happily because once the body is dead it can never come back to life. Hence, according to the Charvakas, one must enjoy life to the core. And what is enjoyment It is to eat delicious food, seeking the company of the beautiful and young, wearing good clothes and accessories, decorating oneself and experiencing instant gratification wherever possible.


Indian tradition takes a holistic view of human nature. It argues that material aspects, however important they may be for human existence, do not exhaust the whole of the personality of a human being. It recognises that besides having physical needs and cravings, we have spiritual aspirations also. Why limit human aspiration to only the physical plane?


The spiritual goal alone distinguishes the human being from other forms of life. A man does not aspire for just artha and kama or the economic and the emotional; he also wishes for dharma and moksha, the moral and the spiritual. So its not as though we only seek the ephemeral and fleeting, we are inclined also to look for what could be eternal and enduring.


Indic seers recognised the pitfalls of pursuing only materialistic goals. The Mundaka Upanishad calls those people fools who crave for material goods, and regard fulfilment of sensate desires alone as the highest good .
In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna calls them muddha fools who are imbued with aasuric or demoniac nature. The Gita describes the mindset of such people: I wanted this and today I got it. I want that; I shall acquire it tomorrow. All these riches are now mine; soon I shall have more. I have killed this enemy; I will kill all others as well and shall soon conquer the world. I am the ruler of men. I enjoy the things of this world. I am successful strong and happy. I am very wealthy and so nobly born. Who is my equal This mindset gives rise to passion, anger and greed that in turn lead to constant strife within the individual and in his dealings with others.


Buddha, after analysing the cause of dukha, says that suffering is not due to chance and caprice. It is because of certain conditions. If these conditions are removed, then suffering, too, ceases to be. He came to the conclusion that desire is the root cause of suffering. In his Fourth Noble Truth he lays down an eightfold path for ending all desire.


Ancient seers realised that desires are never satiated by the enjoyment of desires; thereby they only flame forth ever more like fire with butter . That is why they teach us to enjoy through renunciation . Desires and even their fulfilment, instead of being a source of happiness might spiral so out of control that they become the root cause of suffering.